Ask the Editor

What can I tell our families regarding not feeding our son meats and dairy products? I know what I know and feel, but cannot quite convey the message without sounding uncertain about the facts. Help me please! -- Darla

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Darla,
You are not the first parent who is having trouble explaining and defending a vegan diet to well-meaning families, and you certainly won't be the last. The best advice I have for people who are in this situation is the following:

Remember that your family is not entitled to a consultation on how you raise or feed your kids. You're the mom. You decide. Period.
The easiest explanation is usually the best: "I've researched this subject extensively and given it a great deal of consideration. I've concluded that a vegan diet is the healthiest way for me to raise my son, and that's what I'm going to do."
If your family objects you say: "I appreciate your opinion and I will consider it." If they bring up the subject again you say: "I heard you the first time. You don't need to tell me again."
If your family wants you to justify your decision you say: "No."
If your family threatens you in any way or says they will continue to feed your son meat and dairy products you say: "Then I will never leave my son alone in your care."

The bottom line is this: You cannot control how another person is going to react to your decisions. But you can control what you do about their reactions, threats, and annoying questions. If your family annoys you or harrasses you about your decision, stop allowing them to speak to you on that subject. If you yourself are not convinced that a vegan diet is healthy, research more and make a firm decision. Eventually your family will accept it.

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