How do you handle this . . . . .

[ellemoon]

Hi everyone. I have a quick question for you all. I have a two year old and recently we have come upon an issues that I am not sure how to handle. When we visit my inlaws they never have anything vegetarian that we can all enjoy and we end up eating a whole separate meal. I have offered to cook and make dinner for everyone, but as far as my father in law is concerned: NO MEAT - NO WAY. The problem comes in when my two year old wants to eat what they are eating. I have tried saying that is not something that mommy and daddy eat yadda, yadda, yadda. What normally happens is my son gets really upset because he can't have it (typical two year old) and my husband and I get these looks like we are denying our son and acting like extremists. HELP. Any suggestions?? Is it to soon to tell him about dead animals and the like? I would appreciate any advice you have.

Thanks,

ellen

[Erin Pavlina]

It's not too soon to start telling him he's vegan. I've been telling Emily (2.75 years old) that we are vegans and that we don't eat animals.

What would you do if your son was highly allergic to nuts and he wanted a nut cookie off someone's plate? You would explain to him that he can't have it because it will make him sick, or give him a tummy ache, etc.

At our family gatherings when people are eating non-vegan food in front of her I make sure that she isn't exposed to it directly. For example, at the table, she sits at the end and my husbnad and I sit around her so she doesn't notice what the other people are eating so much.

Secondly, we fill her plate with foods she can eat and she doesn't really notice that the other people are eating foods that she isn't.

When family put out hors douevres, I move the non-vegan foods to one room and keep the vegan foods in the room we're hanging in. My family doesn't mind, perhaps yours would.

Basically, instead of telling him he can't have this or that, I would make sure he has easy access to the things he CAN eat so he doesn't notice and/or want the other things. Try to bring foods for your family that he LOVES instead of things you know he doesn't like too much. Make him want what you give him more enticing than the things they've got.

Your family should be more supportive. My family would never flaunt non-vegan food at my daughter. They know I would stop coming to family functions if they did.

Bring some really great and interesting things to these events and make them envious of what you have. I hope this all made sense. Good luck.

[ellemoon]

Hello. Sorry it took me so long to get back with you I just had a baby three weeks ago and things are still very much in flux around here.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will try to make what we take to eat there more exciting. It is not that they flaunt the food that they eat, it is mostly that he wants to TRY what they have. For instance he has bean burritos at home and sees grandpa with a meat and cheese burrito and he WANTS that. I guess I am just going to have to try to explain to him that we don't eat it and why we don't. Does your daughter get the fact that ground up meat is an animal??? I think that is the sticking point with my son. I have told him we don't eat animals and once he even told that to someone at who offered him an "animal cracker" (HA) Perhaps I just need to say "THAT IS GROUND UP COW"

hmmm.

Thanks again for the advice.

ellen

[Maggie]

I think telling him it's ground up cow might frighten him (heck, it frightens me and I'm an adult!), so maybe you could just tell him "Grandpa is eating an animal. We don't eat animals. Want some (grapes, bean burrito, whatever)?".
Peace,
Maggie

[Erin Pavlina]

It's interesting, actually. My daughter will see milk in my parents refrigerator and say, "I want some of that." She thinks it's Silk cuz the containers look similar. So I've instructed my parents to say, "I know it looks like soymilk, but it isn't. You wouldn't want to drink that because it's yucky. But I've got your rice dream over here for you. Let's have some of that instead."