becoming vegetarian/vegan

[ANGIE40]

I went vegetarian for a few months before I slid back into my old habits, and yet the thoughts about being vegan or vegetarian never leave me. No one else in my family was too interested in changing their eating habits and so I felt like such a hypocrite when I would buy veggie stuff for myself but still have to buy chicken or whatever for everyone else in the family. What am I to do? I have three children ranging in age from 13 to 6. I am also a nursing student and when school is in I have very little time available to cook so my husband picks up the slack.
I would appreciate any suggestions as how to balance my needs with everyone elses needs.

[Christa]

Hmm. I guess that I had less of an issue of dealing with my omni husband b/c I was vegan for 10 years before we met & he does not expect me to buy nor cook meat. When I am cooking, I make vegan food. If my dh wants meat or cheese, he buys it himself and adds it to his plate.

If your dh picks up some of the slack while you are in school, could he do some of the shopping & be responsible for buying any animals products that he and/or other family members might want to eat? You can buy the veggie food when you shop; I imagine that your other family members will eat what you buy as well since most people eat grains, beans, fruit, veggies, etc. as well as meat/eggs/cheese.

You could make meals or ask your dh to make meals that can be easily adapted to vegan and omni versions. For instance, fajitas. If you heat a can of black beans, make some grilled veggies & whatever grilled meat they want and have some lettuce, salsa and/or avocados on the side, then everyone can assemble their fajitas on tortillas with those ingredients that they desire. Another option would be pasta with a vegetarian sauce (marinara, primavera or something like that). They can cook some sausage or meatballs in a pan on side & put it on top of their pasta if they want or sprinkle their pasta with cheese. You can do hamburgers and veggie burgers, minestrone soup, burritos, salads...

Have you asked if they are all amiable to eating a veg*n meal a few times a week? It would certainly be good for their health if they usually eat meat every night. I was 13 when I went vegetarian & 16 when I became vegan. My parents basically made me cook all of my own meals at 13 since I didn't want to eat what they were eating. By 16, I was not living at home anymore so I was cooking for myself anyway. Your 13 year old also might be able to help with the cooking if s/he wants to eat something that you are not making.

I just always go with my grandma's saying: "You eat what the cook likes." Obviously I don't go out of my way to cook things that I know my family won't like, but I don't think that most vegan food has to be so "weird" that your average omni won't eat it.

[Zoesmama]

I'm there too. My dd is only 2 and eats anything but dh tried vegetarian for a couple weeks and was fine but then later said no way. I've tried making the foods so that he can add meat into his but its tough.

And now I'm living in a house with 5 adult carnivores and really have no say. I don't eat much meat when I do and don't care for red meats much at all.

But my goal is to eat healthy and I'm going to try this separate meals thing again.

I agree there are several things you can make for both veg and carnivores.

[joanne]

I'd say do your best to keep the peace. My husband is omni, but he loves my vegan cooking, so that helps a lot. He's from Nepal - I bought a Nepali cookbook and many of the recipes are vegan or can be converted to vegan, so that helps out too. Same goes for a lot of Chinese and Indian food. He still likes to eat at least one meal a week that has meat in it. I asked him if I could at least buy the meat from the local organic meat shop and he said that was ok (since it's only once a week, the meat usally costs about $20 a month). I do not feel bad buying it because I know that it helps keep peace in our marriage. If I made a big stink about it, he'd be pretty upset and so would I ... and I don't like to fight with my man!
He cooks the meat. He does not fry it because I've asked him not to - when you fry meat in a vegan house the smell sticks to the walls, curtains, EVERYTHING and it's so nasty. Usually he makes mo-mos - a Nepali dish which can be made vegan too, but he likes it with meat every now and then.
As for dairy ... he loves ice cream!! I try to have 'rice cream' in the freezer for him, but if it's not there, he'll ask me to go to the store and get ice cream for him - or he'll stop by after work and grab some. Once again, keeping the peace. If it saves an argument or tense feelings, I'm all for it; but only for my man!! Our kids eat vegan but our oldest will have a few mo-mos when he makes them (just one or two). As for the rest of my family - it's a never ending 'battle'. They insist our kids are too skinny (yet they are super healthy and NEVER get sick). They insist we have to be lacking in some way or another. Oh well - dealing with them has been easier as the time goes by ... and a few are actually calling me for advice once in a while!

Ok, I've probably rambled too much!

[mmhw1981]

Originally posted by ANGIE40
No one else in my family was too interested in changing their eating habits and so I felt like such a hypocrite when I would buy veggie stuff for myself but still have to buy chicken or whatever for everyone else in the family. What am I to do?

Don't feel like a hypocrite. I have a friend in a similar situation in which her husband is omni and she has to still by meat. While you may think being vegan is the best way to live, it's not ment for everyone. Yeah, I know... every website/book you ever read tells ya that everyone should go vegan/vegetarian because (fill in reasons here.) That's because they want to promote the lifestyle and they tend to make you feel like a hypocrite if you do have to buy meat for someone because then your "supporting" the slaughter of animals.

I'm more of the pro-choice type of person. Everyone I know (with the exception of the friend I mentioned above) is omni. I'm fine with that. As long as they don't preach to me about eating meat, I don't preach to them about being vegetarian.

Basically what I'm trying to say is this... respect their decision/choice to eat meat as much as they respect your decision/choice not to. And then buy them their meat without having it way on your conscience because you'll be buying it because you respect other's choices, not because you support the death of animals.