help dad wants to introduce non vegan items in 2 yr olds diet

[louter]

hi
my son is just 2 been vegan since birth his dad is worried that he will be restricted later in life if he wants to eat meat etc., i.e hethinks that physically he will be come ill and that socially he will be restricted because of his life style - he wants to introuduce fish/meat/diary etc., (organic - but still!!!)
i am afraid to say i did not handle this well (he informed me of his ideas in the middle of us arguing about another subject argghh!!) and he will not listen to my concerns when i calmed down i sugessted that we wait until he is old enough to understand where his dads food comes from so he can decide for himself whether he wants to eat it, but he he keeps coming back to his body not being able to handle those foods because of his diet so far - i am at a lose as to want to suggest next - my husband is fully aware of the health benifits of vegan/organic/wholefood diet but choses an easier - no/little cooking, no reading of labels and no questions asked - appoarach to his food and is very unhealthy because this i do not want this for my son (whilst i am still able to avoid it)
i was wondering if anyone had faced any similar situations and what advice you could offer
thanks
lou x

[Christa]

Because my dh is an omnivore as well, I made sure that my girls knew what meat was at a very young age. Dh never made an issue about forcing it on them, but I felt that it was important for them to understand, growing up in a mixed household, why my beliefs about not eating meat, etc. were what they were.

I don't know how verbal your little guy is, but my older dd knew what meat was at age two and would absolutely have refused to eat it if anyone offered it to her. I think that any child, if told that "steak" is actually the body of a dead cow, would not want to eat it. The dairy and egg thing is harder to understand, IMO and that is probably not one that you can just nonchalantly tell your ds, this is ____ and have him choose not to eat it.

Is your husband/bf at all willing to compromise on waiting a bit longer? Are you together (e.g. - do you live together)? If you are not currently in a relationship with him, it is probably going to be a bit harder to convince him to compromise for your sake.

[louter]

my husband and i are together (though sometimes it seems we are not ) my son is only just starting to talk when we are in the grocery store together and he wants to pick things up that are not vegan i explain to him that they come from animals and we dont eat them and he says "yeh" and moves on, i never tell him those things are "bad" just that they are from dead animals or meant for baby cows etc., humans, but my DH makes me uncomfortabke about saying these "facts" when he is around but is under the impression that it is okay to make jokes about feeding him meat/ chees etc.,
the first thing i suggested when he told me what he wanted to do was to wait until free was old enough to choose for himself and that is when he started saying that he thought that it would make him sick if he waited any longer - i am alittle frustrated about what to do as i have just returned back to work i am farily sure he wouldn't give anything whilst i wasn't there but a small part of me thinks he may as he seems so determined to try and go against my beliefs - i am trying to get an approach straight in my mind as to what to suggest before i bring up the subject again and in the mean time put up with the comments, but he seems so determined not want to hear anyhting i have suggested so far i think it may just fall on deaf ears
sorry this is a little long i am venting a little
thank you so much for your comments and for reading mine
lou

[Erin Pavlina]

When two people have a difference of opinion and they are both in the responsible position of caring for a child, then understanding and empathy are of vital importance in hearing what the other person is really saying.

If I had to guess I would say I think your husband is feeling fearful about raising your son vegan becuase he thinks it is unhealthy. If that is the case, perhaps he would feel better talking to a registered dietician who was familiar with vegan diets and raising vegan children on those diets, who could help him understand that it is safe and easy.

Do you have a copy of my book, Raising Vegan Children in a Non-Vegan World? There is information in there on nutrition, health benefits, and being in a relationship with someone who is not vegan.

Perhaps your husband feels you are judging him for eating animal products. Perhaps that is making him feel uneasy or embarrassed or ashamed. Have you discussed with him how you will talk to your son about the fact that his dad eats meat but he isn't allowed to?

The point I want to make is that until you empathize with him and show to him that you clearly understand his feelings and needs, he probably won't listen to what you have to say.

For something this important (i.e. how to raise the child) I think you need to be in agreement, whether that turns out to be you raising him vegan or as an omnivore, I think it's imperative that the parents present a united front.

[Christa]

Originally posted by louter
when we are in the grocery store together and he wants to pick things up that are not vegan i explain to him that they come from animals and we dont eat them and he says "yeh" and moves on, i never tell him those things are "bad" just that they are from dead animals or meant for baby cows etc., humans, but my DH makes me uncomfortabke about saying these "facts" when he is around
Yeah, that's pretty much the approach I took, too. I didn't tell them that these foods were bad, just that it was a dead pig, etc. Dh also seems to find this to be brainwashing, but he's kind of given up ;) .