Lack of respect for BF?

[Astrophe]

I guess I just need an ear.

My daughter is 21 mos old, and continues to nurse and enjoy her vegan foods.

Every time I go visit my parents, Dad has some commnet about her being "too old to still be nursing" and sometimes tries to get my husband to agree with him by adding, "Right, Paul?"

DH has replied " Actually, no. World Health and her doctor suggest 2 years old minimum."

I've rather bluntly said, "Dad, I didn't ask for your opinion. How and when I nurse/wean my daughter is my business, not yours. We obviously have different opinions on the subject so let's just agree to disagree and drop it. I don't want to hear any more commentary."

I don't know how much clearer I can be about my feelings yet he persists in going off on it every time we go over there.

Grr.

Esp. irksome when I take the time to visit once a week or more so they can spend time with the baby. It's 3x more than any other relative gets!

A.

[xmysticprincessx]

how does your mom feel about this? does she make comments? or is she not in the room when your dad does this? why not just come out and ask your dad to be honest and tell you why he makes these comments.
ask most mainstream people in the US, and they think babies should be BF until they are a year. in the mainstream, you dont hear of many babies being nursed after that. maybe he has some weird concerns, like that your daughter isnt getting proper nutrition or that you dont have enough money for other things for her to drink. who knows?

[Jergisen]

why don't you get your pediatrician to give you a copy of your child's growth curve chart? then show it to him so he understands the child is fine.
Otherwise, just stop going over there! I would.

[vegma]

Some people just don't get it, regardless of what you tell them. I would tell your dad to keep his comments to himself (especially in front of your daughter), and if he doesn't, just leave. Right then. He will eventually get the message (I would hope!).

[Astrophe]

Thank for the support everyone.

I really don't think Dad is going to change any, no matter what else I provide. I've given him educational materials, and so on in the past.

I got weirdness with cloth diapering, infant toilet training, cosleeping, vegan eating...

I just get tired of being put on the spot or on the defensive. YKWIM?

Can't we just agree to disagree on certain topics and move ON?

A.

[Ckflew]

What if you just didn't respond at all - as if he hadn't said anything? Your daughter is old enough that you might want to add some positive reinforcement at home, but I'd just change the topic, since he doesn't seem to listen to your responses anyway.

[Astrophe]

Well, I could try.

For now I'm jstu trying not to see them so much and give myself some breathing room.

A.

[SandyBeachBums]

Have you tried giving him a question for your answer? Sometimes this gives you a chance to connect instead of disconnecting. Usually if you start spouting off information it causes a disconnection. UNLESS, they say something like, "Oh, I see".

Example:
He says something like..Are you still breastfeeding her?

Then you can say...What is it about her breastfeeding that really bothers you.

He can either answer your question or keep bothering you. If he bothers you then you can be a broken record.

You say...Obviously this is bothering you or making you uncomfortable. I really love you and appreciate your concern. What is it about me breastfeeding her that really bothers you. (Repeat, repeat, repeat as often as neccessary!)

Hugs! I'm still breastfeeding my 32 months year old.

[VeganMomma]

My daughter is 31 months old. Where have they received their information other times I quote WHO views on regards to breastfeeding.

[VegParent]

I just want to say, "WAY TO GO SISTER!!"

It takes big Ka-hones to stand up to nay-sayers, but especially when the criticizers are your parents! You and your totally supportive DH should be commended for the brave way you have stood up to your Dad's comments.

What is it about parenting that makes everyone feel like they can just dispense unsolicited advice?

I agree with SandyBeachBums - try turning the tables on your Dad on your next visit and get to the source of his worry. Afterall, he is your Dad and I'm sure he does love you and he probably just doesn't know how to communicate his feelings.