Explaining fishing family members to an almost 3 year old

[beth72]

In a couple of weeks my husband's family will be getting together for a reunion. We all gather at an uncle's property and it's generally pretty fun, especially for the kids. The last reunion was about 18 months ago. My little guy was too young and distracted to notice the people fishing in the pond. This time he will DEFINITELY notice. And most of the activity happens close to the pond so moving away is not an option... we're going to have to confront this issue head-on.

I want to make sure he understands fishing is not a nice thing to do (to put it mildly!) but also don't want to upset him or make him think those fishing are bad people. There are a few serious rednecks in the family (rodeo participants, hunters, etc.) and I don't want to start a big family feud or something.

Any suggestions?

[veganloraine]

i wouldn't make too much of an issue of it before, during or after the reunion, just because it may entice your little one to be more interested in the "sport" than you'd like him to be. my ds was obsessed with fishing, despite all my talks with him about the cruelty of it all. i finally just let it go and miraculously so did he.

to foster a sense of compassion for fish, i would suggest spending time with fish. last year we pet-sit my sister-in-law's beta fish. my ds is now in love with fish and is desperate to have one in our home to care for. maybe you know someone who has some fish that your son could watch and maybe feed (and hopefully not a sad little goldfish in a tiny little bowl)? fish have fabulous personalities - shy fish, aggressive fish, fast fish, slow fish! i would also recommend the book "Piggy and Dad go Fishing" by David Martin (check you local library - if they don't have it, they may be able to get it in time for the reunion). it's a great book about fishing and compassion!

good luck!

[mamaoftofuboy]

Thanks for posting this. We are heading back East for a week with my in laws and they are a big fishing family. I too struggle with how do we emphasize compassion and our ethics without painting grandparents in a bad light.

One thing I am trying to do is encourage my 2 and a half year old to ask them why they eat meat or fish or drink cows milk. He asks me and I can give the well, it's hard for people to change or they might not know but I kinda feel like I am speaking for them and what I am saying isn't the truth. Does this make sense? So I want him to be able to ask them up front and have them tell him the truth.

[veganloraine]

if he does ask his grandparents why they do the non-vegan things they do, let me know how they respond. my 5 year-old has asked me if his grandparents are vegan and i've told him simply "no", but he's never asked me why they weren't - but then i guess he also realizes that most people aren't vegans.

interesting side note: another mother at school told me that her she took her young son fishing over the weekend. he caught a sunfish and after releasing it from the hook smashed it to pieces. she was horrified. i was confused as the whole point to fishing is to kill some fish (and a whole lot of worms), is it not?

[celtic-womble]

My DS is two and at the stage where he's asking why he can't eat certain things. I've discovered that the really straight answers work best with him. He just won't accept the "because the animals don't like us to" sort of answer. He knows that cows make milk for baby cows and that we don't steal it for our tummies. I'm pretty sure he remembers breast feeding (he self-weaned about 18 months) because he'll sometimes point at my boobs and he either says "boobs" or "milk." Sometimes he also says "naked boobs" or "big boobs" but that's a whole other story :rolleyes:

The other day we were at the mall food court and the girl at the Japanese place offered me a piece of chicken. I said no thanks but she then bent down to offer it to DS! He was about to take it and I said "honey, that's a piece of a dead chicken." He looked at me and said "chicken?!" in this disgusted and incredulous tone and when I nodded he turned back to the girl and said "yucky!" That's my boy :D

Long story short, I'd tell him what's going on (ask how he'd like to be pulled along by a sharp hook through his cheek, way more painful that shots at the dr!) and explain that his grandparents just don't care about fish the same way you do.