Planning for the future with a non-veg

[Star Gazer]

Hey everyone!

I am in a serious relationship with someone who is non-vegetarian. I love him to death and things are starting to move forward with us. We just bought a house together and we are planning to get married and have children in the future.

In my ideal situation, I would raise my children vegan, or at least vegetarian. He, on the other hand, is respectful of my decision to be vegan myself, but is unsure of raising children that way. We were both raised in a rural area where vegetarianism is nearly non-existent. In fact, he grew up on a farm.

I have read Erin Pavlina's book (Raising Vegan Children...), but the advice in that book is generally for parents that are in agreement that the children should be raised strictly vegan. That's not our case. My boyfriend is open-minded, but I don't think he's completely comfortable with raising them veg.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Do you have advice on what we could do? I want to find a healthy compromise that will be beneficial to our children and, at the same time, won't make either parent look like the bad guy.

Please help!

[liansmom]

I have a supportive husband, but yeah, he wasn't too sure about raising our daughter veg*n. She eats chicken occasionally and loves soy and dairy based cheeses. I limit her dairy cheese when it is in the house since she doesn't eat it alot and it tends to bind her. That said, she won't eat anything else, no pork, beef, seafood, nothing and that is by her choice.

Alot of children don't like meat, I had a cousin whose parents ate meat, but she refused too as a child. So I would suggest you just wait and see. Who knows by the time you have children he could be vegetarian and then it would be less to worry about.

Good Luck and congrats on buying a house!

[Cynthia Mosher]

Hi Star Gazer!

Did you read this question we featured a couople months ago on the site?

I was wondering if you could help me. My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married and having children. I am a vegetarian and he is a meat eater. He wants our children to eat organic meat and milk. I want them to be vegan/vegetarian. He's open to new information and statistics for which is a better diet. Unfortunately, I can't find any information. That says a vegetarian/vegan diet is healthier or not healthier than a low fat meat diet. Do you have any resources or can you point me in a direction of maybe where I could look. If I can prove that it's better for our child he will do it. I can't have a baby if it's going to be given meat.

You can read the replies that VegFamily readers sent in here: http://vegfamily.com/vegan-view/proof.htm

You'll also find some articles on our Vegan Marriage and Family section about being married to a non-veg spouse. That's here:
http://vegfamily.com/marriage-family/index.htm

Hope that helps you somewhat. :)

[veganloraine]

i would suggest trying to find other vegan/vegetarian familes. if your husband sees how healthy and energetic vegan/vegetarian children are he may be swayed. i would also ask him to research with you human physiology and the kind of diet that gives the most health benefits, the environmental impact a meat-based diet is having on our beautiful planet, the famine issue, and the suffering associated with raising animals for slaughter.

raising a humane child is a win-win situation. Let that be your focus, not "who's right and who's wrong".

good luck!

[s&k'smom]

My husband is a non vegan but pretty supportive. My son is vegetarian but does eat some dairy as he has a very limited diet (he's autistic and extremely picky) so whatever food I can get into him I do. My daughter will eat some meat but I am slowly giving her vegan foods and she cannot tell the difference.

Plus I just wanted in on the particular forum and would love to hear some more responses.

[vegan_fae]

Suggest your boyfriend read a couple of books (maybe the ones that pushed you toward veganism, or books like The China Study which are written by people who were not predisposed to veganism from the beginning). If he can understand that it is a healthy choice on his own, it should alleviate his concerns. When you're actually facing parenthood, your super-healthy vegan pregnancy and breastfeeding should be great examples of how children can thrive on a vegan diet. Working with a veg-friendly dietician to develop a deeper understanding of what nutrients and foods growing children need should also help him become comfortable with raising vegan children. Best of luck!