potty training question- pull-ups vs diapers

[vicki]

currently when sean (22 mo) sits on the potty (whether we ask him if he wants to or if he asks to on his own), we make a really big deal about it and clap and dance around, then he gets to put on "big kid pants" (pull-ups) which he's very proud of. if we ask him if he wants to sit on the potty and he doesn't, then we put on a regular diaper, no negative words or actions or emotions at all. it's like the pull-ups are a reward, but we don't treat the regular diapers as a punishment. *my question though is should he wear pull-ups ALL the time, like the magazine advertisements suggest (not going back and forth because it "confuses" kids), do you think that's just so they'll sell more of their product or do you think he's really more likely to sit on the potty more if he always wears pull-ups? I have noticed he's less likely to pee in his pull-ups than diapers, he asks more often to sit on the potty, like he's making an effort to keep the pull-ups clean and dry. what's your experience? thanks, sorry so long!

[Erin Pavlina]

I bought some pull ups for Emily when she was like 27 months old. She loved them, but treated them just like diapers. We decided not to train her just yet. She'll sit on the potty and pretend to go, but she never has.

From what I've heard from other moms I can start now and it might take 9 monhts, or I can wait until she's closer to three years old and it may take a weekend. I think I'm going to opt for the latter. She's about 30 months now. 2 and a half.

[abigailsmomma]

In our experience, Abigail thought of Pull-Ups as the same as diapers. I think it prolonged the whole process, because she would not go in the potty any more often if she happened to have Pull-ups on than if she had a diaper on. What finally worked (at 38 mos.) was switching exclusively to cotton training underpants. It only took a couple of 'accidents' before she was going in the potty every time!

[Erin Pavlina]

I'm glad you shared that information, Abigailsmomma, because that's my plan!

[Maggie]

I can't see making a big deal out of using the potty, one way or the other. He'll start using it when he's ready - no matter what, he's not going to be going to the senior prom in diapers. Pull-ups are probably going to be viewed the same as a diaper by the child...but they might be useful if he's starting to use the potty sporadically. If he asks to use the potty more often if he wears Pull-Ups, then they might be working for you. Personally, though, I'd be more inclined to go with cotton training pants. 22 months is *very* young to use the potty on his own. 2.5-3 would be more normal.
Peace,
Maggie

[Krystal323]

pull-ups I think are just a ploy by the diaper people to seperate you from your money!! I started "potty-training" my son as soon as he could sit up well-about 8 months or so--everytime I 'd go to the bathroom I'd take him with me and sit him on his pot--clothes on just like it was a chair. At about 15 months I'd let him run around w/o a dipe sometimes so he'd "see results" if he went--a bit messy once or twice but that's all it takes for them to get the idea! At about 20 months I had more time at home (quit college) so i got him some of those five-layer cloth training pants (no waterproofing outer layer) and he really loved them! I put his pot in the living room so it was within close proximity to where he'd play. The cloth really helped him feel wet--the pull-ups DON"T! At any rate, he was in underwear full time at 22 months--and he didn't even talk yet!! We used sign language gestures to communicate--he'd tell me he had to go, and we ran to the pot! I don't think it's coercive to potty-train early UNLESS YOU are coercive. If you follow your kid's lead and respect him, I'm sure you'll find that they want to be dry and clean and much prefer cloth pants to paper diapers! BTW I use cloth w/my daughter and we're happily and gently training at 13 months--it's a part-time thing for us, and I think that's how she'd prefer it. For a big time paradigm shift, read the book "Diaper-Free" It's about elimination communication, to be used from infancy on up--it's very much in line with AP and the continuum concept, and not at all coercive. If you think I'm crazy and/or cruel to my kids, please don't--I'm the most gentle mama you'll ever meet, and I respect my kids whole-heartedly. *Nobody* wants to sit in wet dirty pants!!

[VOW]

I only used Pull-Ups when my son was having bedwetting problems.

Daycare pressured me to potty train my son, when he was about 18 months old. I didn't really want to push it. With both of my kids, I just left them alone, and they got the idea all by themselves that being clean and dry was a neat idea.

You don't find many kids marching off to kindergarten in diapers!

Too many parents turn potty training into a power struggle. My daughter's pediatrician even cautioned me against trying to "potty train" TOO soon. She had five kids herself, and said that she made the mistake of potty training one too soon. It isn't the KID who is potty trained, it's MOM. It was impossible to drive down the street to the store without stopping at every market and gas station so the kid could "go." She felt like she was walking a dog down a street filled with fire hydrants!

IMHO, potty training is something that pretty much takes care of itself.



~VOW

[sophie]

instead of pull-ups you could try using cotton underpants, that's what we did with my son. He potty-trained at 22 mths, with no pressure at all, he just started telling us when he wanted to go to the toilet. He never wore disposables and I think he didn't like the wet feeling of his cloth naps. I used pull ups once with my daughter but found them expensive and didn't achieve the desired result. You could try those training pants too, I never have used them but know of others who had success with them. Good luck!

[Erin Pavlina]

I definitely think pull ups prolong the process. In hindsight I wish I hadn't used them.

Emily is now fully potty trained. We waited until she was 32 months or so and it was very easy. She learned quickly. She still wears a pull up at night just in case there are accidents. But she is getting up to pee when she needs to so soon she'll be able to wear her undies to bed too.

[Krystal323]

well, you're right, the mom is kinda potty trained if it's done earlier, but I still prefer that! What's more important, I think most kids would prefer that if they could really talk about it. It's only like a dog with fire hydrants for a little while, they learn to hold it for longer eventually. At any rate my mom said I was "potty-trained" at like 10 months--but yes, I'm sure she had to run to the bathroom rather often w/me! I just feel so bad for some kids like in my son's playgroup who are like three ( the rest of the kids there are potty trained) and they have to lay down in the middle of things to bare their wet or poopy bottom--how embarrassing for them, no??? Or we'll see them standing up, backs turned to everyone, squatting, and we all know they're filling their diaper. ANYWAYS, I guess you gotta do what's best for you--but I definitely think cloth speeds things along! Good luck everyone!!

[sophie]

Krystal- my mother also boasts of how I was toilet-trained at the ripe old age of 13 mths! LOL! In fact, she thought my two oldest were slow (my son was 22 mths, my daughter exactly 2 yrs)- I got all kinds of pressure! I think the key to toilet training is to *relax*, to be very laid back about the whole process. The kids I know who have taken a long time seem to be those whose parents are turning it into a huge battle, or an issue affecting evryones lives.

[vegma]

Ds became really intrigued with using the toilet when he was about 16 months old (that's when we started using cloth diapers ... better late than never!). I finally bought him a little potty and he used it occasionally. He'd have periods of interest and others when he wasn't interested. When he was 3 years and 3 months, he poo'd in the potty and hasn't looked back since! I know most people consider this late, but we didn't pressure him. Even after he was using the potty on a regular basis, it took him a loooooooong time to pee. Now at 3 years and 9 months, he can "hold it" and go "all at once" whereas before he had to trickle it out and couldn't hold it long at all. That's probably more detail than you want! But I do believe he knew when he was "ready". Nights are still hit and miss, but we use a double cloth diaper with an insert. I don't wake him up to go, but I get up with him if he wakes up himself.

[go4green]

I haven't used pull ups, but I have used swim diapers which pull up. At 15 months we started to ponder potty training only after an older relative asked if we were training and when we told her no she said "oh, I guess we trained earlier because we only had cloth" another person said I better get crackin' because it's easier to train in the summer-less clothes. Before these outside influences, I just thought I would teach her the sign for potty and when she started to sign or tell me she was going then we would start the potty. We use mostly cloth, and we have a front loader washer (less water consumption), so I feel our impact is about the same as if she was flushing the toilet a few times per day. Back to pull-ups I didn't think I would use them because to me they seemed like the swim diaper and I thought, for us, it would be more convenient to wait and have a smooth, quick transition to cloth training pants. In general I feel, I need to get my expectations away from “training” and back to “happening”. This is a great thread, even for someone not there yet, to hear what worked for everyone ;) Jenna

[lilybud]

We were very laid back about potty training-we had a potty and if the twins wanted to use it , okay, if not , no big deal.
We weren't even too worried when they were almost three, everyone said that it would just click and then they would get it, no need training the parents to run to the potty.
I read every potty book and tried every method, including pull-ups which they used just like diapers. We used cloth too so they could feel the wetness.
Well, they just turned 4 and are ALMOST 100% potty trained.
Eventually, I just decided to let them pee on the floor. This was the only method for us that worked. It took 2 weeks of cleaning up messes before twin #1 made the connection between the pee feeling and actually peeing. Her sister was about 1 week (after watching her sister for 2 weeks).
During all this, my son was born and I read Infant Potty Training. From birth (2 days old) we watched his cues and took him to a potty. It really worked great (until I started training his sisters and couldn't get to him) and I really wish I had kept it up.
The book helpled me realize how my daughters were trained to go in their diapers, thus the difficult potty training.
Pull ups were helpful in the beginning stages in public, but not at home.
(Sorry so long!)

[Erin Pavlina]

Lilybud, what sort of cues does an infant give when they need to eliminate? I'm very curious!

[lilybud]

When I read IFP I didn't believe I would see the cues but when Kai was born, I had learned to watch for certain things. The first thing I learned was that when babies are sleeping they generally wake up because they feel the urge to pee, not to eat as I thought. So when he woke up we would hold him over a potty, sink, bathtub and he would go right away and then usually nurse back to sleep.
If he was already awake, we would watch for subtle cues, fidgeting, whimpering, unhappy face. Any cue that suggested he wasn't content. 9 times out of 10 he needed the potty. Actually the cues are all normal baby behaviors, we just don't think of them as a desire to be taken to a potty.
The book said that some mothers feel a psychic connection to their babies and they just know when they have to go.
That sort of freaked me out, but after we used ec I did feel intuitively (sp?) when he had to go, probably because I was reading his cues without realizing it.
A lot of it is timing too, because you are more aware of when he last went so you sort of know when to watch more closely.

[Erin Pavlina]

Wow that's amazing! That's a whole new world of stuff I know nothing about but that interests me. Cool!

[sophie]

I was reading about women in parts of Africa who never put nappies on their babies, they just know when they need to go and hold them over a bush or something. I was really impressed.

[sarahrose]

What I did was just have my daughter wear regular panties around the house. They were really cute princess ones that she really wanted to wear, so therefore did not like getting them wet because then she could not wear them until they were washed and dried. It worked really well. Pull-ups worked well for outings, in case of an accident,( at that point would not wear a diaper, because they are for babys, as she said )but early on, pull-ups were pretty much useless. I would not waste money on them until his potty training is well under way.