Living with non vegan grandparents

[HoneyNBen]

My family and I have had to move in with my husband's parents due to job cuts. As you can guess we are vegan and his parents are honestly carnivores. The closest they get to vegetables are pizza sauce and lettuce and tomato on their BLT's! Anyways, here are my questions...

1. We share cookware. I've been washing our dishes with antibacterial soap. I use to use Dr. Bronners castile soap due to dishwashing soap leading to cancer and also problems with the environment. Would Dr's get rid of the yuck from meat and dairy or should I stick with the antibacterial soap. Luckily, I'm the only one who washes the dishes so I'm not worried about the kids getting cancer from the dish soap. Oh and they actually don't cook their meat all the way adn there is blood on many utensils.


2. My 4 year old son keeps talking alot lately about Mamal letting him eat chicken and cheese. I am really upset about this. I don't know if he's just 'teasing' me or if hes telling the truth. I honestly wouldnt put it past my mother in law to do this. You see we don't allow guns of any kind for the kids to play with. Tyler has told us before how mamal would let him play with them and would hide them when we showed up. We didn't believe him at first thinking it was just his infatuation with wanting something he couldn't have, but then he showed us where she would hide them! Help! I'm really afraid. She does not agree with me on anything since I'm just the red-headed hussy who stole her son. Also, my son is allergic to corn and she would give him corn! HELP!!!! Do you think she's doing this? Or is it just him talking? He knows we're vegan because meat and dairy is not good for our bodies. What should I do if she is giving him and my daughter non-vegan things?

3.When we explain to someone were vegan for health reasons they (MIL) think that we should eat whatever during special occasions. I need something to get it through her thick skull!

4. If we go by a cookout and it smells good and we say it does, my MIL says see it's meat! like it's a win to her or something. I've explained to her I think gasoline smells good also, but you don't see me putting it in my mouth or breathing it in! Does anyone have an answer that'd shut her up?

sorry...I know it's long...
5. Are there any older vegans who were raised vegan? Where can I get some studies about children who are adults and were raised vegan?

6. Please pray for me. I'm going to kill my mother in law!

I know the obvious is move out, but due to his lose of job we can't. I'm being as friendly and polite as I can, especially since we live with her, ...but come on. They need to respect us also. We don't stand behind them and say you're going to die a slow death full of heart disease and cancer...no...we're very respectful to the unhealthy choices they've made. I have asked them to at least eat organic...but..It's too expensive! Anyways, we do pay for living with them...I keep house, cook, do laundry and anything else they need. Help! I need some solutions!

[Elin]

How can you stand it? Don't you end up crying every night? I lived with my parents in law for a while too (carnivores too, especialy my FIL). It was hard, but at least they respected our veganism.

I think that the cookware will be just fine after you washed it. Although I think that you shall watch out for cookware in cast iron since they seem to store fat from the stuff that has been cooked in it.

I get so upset when I read your post. I whish I could say or do anything to make you feel better (and get your own place to live). Well, I'll pray for you and hope that it makes a diffrence.

[HoneyNBen]

I use only stainless steel cookware. ( Everyone should check out aluminum and teflon cookware. They're very bad for your health. America is the only country that allows the selling of aluminum cookware due to health reasons. Also, check out "what to expect when you're expecting" they have a warning about pregnant women and teflon/non-stick. Check the stuff out on the internet. You'll be amazed. I didn't cook for 6 months while we saved $ to buy stainless steel cookware. We only used a toaster oven, microwave, and stone ware in the oven. Course if I knew about microwaves I wouldn't have used them! Anyways...) Should I continue using the antibacterial soap or could I go back to Dr. Bronners? I'd really like to go back, but my children come first...

As to the crying at night, no I don't, but I hate living here. I'm so stressed out my period is all out of wack. I mean I'm living with satan herself! HELP! :)

[Erin Pavlina]

I feel your pain, you're in a tough situation. But let's see if we can put a spin on this that may help. Although your in-laws are disrepectful of your diet, you have a unique opportunity to show them the many benefits of a vegan diet. You're living by example, see. This could very well be their only experience with seeing how vegan people eat and live. You never know when something you do will rub off on them. Try to see this as an opportunity to show them how healthy you all are.

Now as to your questions:

1. Cookware: Yeah, just wash the heck out of it. It's good that you're on top of that.

2. If your mil is giving your kids meat and dairy products than she is going against your wishes. You have the right as their parent to make these decisions for them. Tell her in no uncertain terms that your children are not to eat meat and dairy products and that she needs to respect that.

3. When MIL suggests you eat whatever is served at special occasions simply say, "That's not going to happen." You don't need to explain why or anything. Just say, "That's not going to happen." Nips that right in the bud.

4. Stop saying the meat smells good in her presence. I like the smell of meat barbecuing on a grill too. Very common. I also love the smell of gasoline. :)

5. Dont' know any personally, but Ocean Robbins was raised vegan and is now the father of twin vegan children.

6. As to respect... you don't need respect from them, just from yourself. When they see how convicted you are in your beliefs they will every so slowly come around. Be strong, be consistent, don't be preachy, just live by example. It could take years, but eventually they will accept reality.

[renee]

i was also going to mention ocean robbins to you. if you go to foodrevolution.org, then in the new section click on becoming a grandfather, then you will be able to click on ocean and read his bio. they are such a beautiful, inspiring family. best wishes to you and yours.

[VOW]

This sounds like one of those situations where you will have to do some mental acrobatics.

When you have a quiet moment to yourself, sit down, relax, and take yourself OUT of the conflict. Pretend you are a stranger who has come to visit, and you WATCH the interaction between you and your mother-in-law.

First, you need to understand where your MIL is coming from. When she was growing up, she was inundated with propoganda from the USDA, that milk and meat meant health. Madison Avenue also contributed to this mindset by equating meat with prosperity. The ability to put meat, and substantial quantities of it on the family table is the mark of a successful provider. These concepts are ingrained into your MIL's mind. And it would take massive amounts of time to re-educate her. From the way you talk, you don't HAVE massive amounts of time, because you are dangerously close to killing the woman.

Since you have almost no chance of changing her mindset, the only thing you have to work with is how YOU react to HER. Therein lies the key: don't let her way of thinking cause you to explode. If the conflict atmosphere is removed, I bet the entire relationship will cool down to something that isn't so inflammatory.

It's much easier said than done, I know.

Start by making a mental list of your MIL's good qualities. Number One should be that she has opened her home to you and your husband and the kids. You are truly blessed to have her hospitality at this difficult time of your life. Number Two would be that she cares about all of you. Don't see her carnivorous ways as sabotage. She may be genuinely concerned that your children are not eating a way that she was taught to be healthy. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Imagine YOU as the Grandma, and your son/daughter is feeding your precious grandchild meat and taters at every meal!

With this lesson in tolerance, you can then put some peacemaking strategies into practice. Offer to cook for the entire family. If MIL and FIL must have meat, then they can prepare it "on the side," so they won't starve. Make sure you have plenty of kiddie snacks on hand so your kids won't have to be tempted by MIL's goodies. If you are home all day with the kids, my suggestion would be to make sure you are present whenever they eat. If you are working, and must depend on MIL for childcare, then ask her to serve the treats/meals you have prepared beforehand for the kids. If she feels the pressing need to give them "her" foods, then at least ask her to present BOTH your foods and her foods to the kids, and cross your fingers that the kids choose the good stuff.

You also might gently show your MIL that vegetarian eating is quite a bit CHEAPER than carnivorous ways. Try to locate a source of bulk TVP, and make spaghetti sauce for the whole family. After everyone has chowed down, you can tell them how much money you saved by using the TVP instead of ground round.

Bottom line: although it is abominable that your children are being fed things that you don't approve of, this small period of time that you are living with your in-laws is minimal compared to the entire lifetimes of your kids. Let it be a learning lesson to them. Show them that Veganism is a choice that YOU make, and that you want THEM to make as well. If they sample verboten foods when you are not there to supervise, don't make a big deal out of it. Your children don't need to see Gramma and Grampa as the bad guys. Tell your son and daughter, "Well, next time, choose the peanut butter sandwich instead of the hamburger. It tastes better, and it's better for you, too." The aggravation you exhibit towards the meat-eating habits of your in-laws might come back to haunt you when your kids hit their teens and want to assert their independence from you.


Best of luck to you all!
~VOW

[HoneyNBen]

Elin, A belated thank you post for the prayers. Any and all are greatly appreciated!

[Andrea0408]

HoneyNBen!! I could have written this post myself. We, too, live with my MIL, and she is a raging meat eater!!! I am trying like mad to raise my children as Vegans, (like myself) and My dh is really making progress!! He has commited (in the last week or so) to stop eating meat (again) and the only dairy he consumes is occasional cheese..but that will go soon I'm sure..: )

Okay, off topic, sorry. My MIL is constantly undermining me, and as someone else just mentioned, yes, I go to bed crying at night sometimes because I am so tired of fighting about it! Take today for example...she had a dr's appointment...the kids and I had lunch together here before she returned home. I jumped in the shower..the kids were hanging out with me in the bathroom..(they are 3 and almost 2). Grandma came home, and knocked on the bathroom door to tell me she was home. The kids followed her out, and I finished my shower...I got out of the shower, and I smelled FAST FOOD. I peek around the corner, and the kids are eating kids meals...and they had already finished chicken nuggets...I quickly left the room because I thought I was going to freak out...As soon as she left the room, I tossed the fries that were left, and dumped the soda down the sink...The toys were also promptly chucked. I am so devistated, and hurt, and I feel disrespected!!!!!!!!!!!

So, yes, I understand your frustration! :)

Odd, I also use Dr. Bronners soap..peppermint to be exact..:) And yes, she thinks that's weird too. She has come around tons, believe it or not, since we moved in, though...she used to eat ground beef or pork steak every night. Now she's eating what I cook..:) she also thought I was nuts for paying "so much" for organic produce, products, etc., but purchased "tucker the tomato" for the kids last week...She says she feels better, and has lost weight. I know she eats meat when she is at work, out shopping, what have you, but I cant stop her..but dont bring it home to my kids!!! You have recieved great responses already to your questions..but please know that I understand 100%, and I am praying for you! Please email me if you'd like..:)

Hugs,
Andrea
Vegan Mommy to Gavin (3) and Trinity (1)

[Erin Pavlina]

Andrea I'm shocked that she would buy happy meals for the kids knowing you want them raised vegan. That seems sort of odd for her to go out of her way to do that. I can almost understand someone who is not that strict with preventing your kids from eating meat off their plate, but to actually buy something with the intent of giving it to the kids and not herself seems really well, intentional.

Is that what happened? Why did she buy the meals for the kids?

[Andrea0408]

Erin,
She has said a few times that she is worried that the kids dont get "adequate" nutrition...translation? "They must be unhealthy because they dont eat animals." She still believes in the food pyramid, still believes that you *have* to have red meat during pregnancy..etc...The only reason she doesnt drink cow's milk anymore is because I stopped buying it, and she is a tightwad..lol..she wasnt going to buy it, so we didnt have it. Now, she sees how much better she feels without it, and she was "sold" on being cow's milk free. She knows I wont confront her when dh is not home..so she does these things when his back is turned. I will be talking to him tonight though, because last week, she brought home KFC for dinner...I refused to allow the kids to eat any then..what makes today any different??? I am actually quite offended...I feel like she doesnt respect me, and doesnt feel that I can care for my children properly. She is in no position to judge me though. My dh has battled his weight since he was in the 2nd grade because of the foods she fed him. Now, he is a almost 300 pounds man (mind you, he's 6 foot three) but still has an obvious weight problem. SHE DID THIS TO HIM. Since I have known him, he has lost weight, has regulated his Blood pressure, cholesterol has gone down, etc...I hardly think she's an expert on good nutrition..
Oooh...now I'm getting mean. :(

Part of my problem with her is that she disprupts my peace..kwim? I lose my "happy place" when I'm around her...

I dont know what her reasoning was..maybe she though I hadnt fed them (she thinks this a lot) maybe she was "treating them" (still unacceptable)..I dont know, and I havent asked. Thank God, she has another dr's appt today, and she is gone right now, otherwise, I'd be a basket case right now. I really needed her to leave. She is on vacation from work until Monday after next...I dont know how I am going to make it!!!

[Erin Pavlina]

Oh Andrea, that's dreadful that she doesn't respect your choice to raise the kids vegan. It must be very stressful for you.

You've got to find some way to make it clear to her that you can feed your kids yourself and that she doesn't have to worry or be responsible for that. Keep us posted... maybe we can come up with something to help you get through to her.

I do know that it would help tremendously if your husband told your mil in no uncertain terms that she is not to feed the kids those items. Will he do something like that?

[Andrea0408]

Thanks for the advice...I had a talk with dh last night, and he is going to talk to her. I know she already knows, but I'm thinking if he tells her she wont be as underhanded..she's paranoid about keeping her dearest son happy with her. kwim? One of the ideas I had was to make a card of all the things they CAN eat. So if she is out, she can bring home a baked potato for my daugher instead of nuggets (BP is Trin's favorite food, lol) I hate to support fast food establishments, but I do have to find some middle ground. No meat, no dairy, no eggs...doesnt leave much for her to bring home from a drive through, but perhaps it will help keep the peace around here...Dh and I also talked about having a limit on the amount of time she does this..perhaps on payday (every two weeks?) She is on vacation right now, and more likely to treat them, as she has nothing better to do..lol..
SO, perhaps this wont happen again once she goes back to work? I have to live here for 18 more months, so I've got to come up with something!

Thanks again for your support!!

[Erin Pavlina]

That's a great idea! Make a list of foods your kids can have from fast food restaurants and make sure she has a copy. You can even tell her that you appreciate taht she wants to treat the kids and if she buys stuff from this list then everyone will be happy.

Keep us posted.

[HoneyNBen]

Ahhh... someone who truly understands. I love this board to death, but I don't believe they understand the amount of hatefullness these women ....I'm at a lose of words... I totally know exactly where you're coming from. Here's a little something...I make my own cleaning products, I offer MIL a set, a beautiful organic set...she says NO. Short harsh...oh and I was offering it to her for a Christmas present! She later tells me it's cause she don't clean, which is true. Today she tells us that she's going to 'pick up more' around the house, but that we need to also. This house has never been so clean since we moved in. The kids toys are never left out, I sweep...I don't do the dishes every night since she told Children's Services I abused the kids, but it's never disgusting or anything. I thought her saying that was just too funny cause even when I was dating my husband her house was always cluttered and messy.

As to the overweight husband I understand that too. She always fed her children the wrong things. She still wants to feed them whatever. MIL and FIL never grocery shop. They'll pick something up now and then and it's always junk. She has like three cabinets of snacky foods. Oh and she does those Slim-fast diets or Adkins...she's not losing weight because she can't even follow them...I mean you do have to move. Since my husband and I went vegan he has lost so much weight. He's 6 1 and weighed himself the other day ( with clothes on!) and was 215. It's a testimony to a vegan diet...that and moving, but she never sees any of that...Oh and we buy organic produce. That's where all our money goes to and they'll eat it. They'll say how it tastes better, but they'll buy nothing but junk for theirselves. I'm having to give the kids non-organic fruit toward the end of the month because Wild Oats is an hour and a half away. ( 1 trip each month. We spend around 300.00 and it's all organic. One of the reasons we've moved in here.)

My neice ate around us a few months ago and my son said Cheese isn't good for our bodies to me and she says "Well, Anna likes cheese." Anna wasn't near us, she never overheard. I'm not into making children feel odd due to their parents neglectful habits. But MIL did not need to say that to my son. It was rude and in a way undermines what we teach and believe.

I do feel for you. I'll get to the point where I can't take it anymore and cry on my hubbies shoulder, but...nothing makes you feel better. Just passing on some advice...if she's like mine...keep a log of what you offer the children, what they eat ....also, be sure to have exact information supporting what you believe in. MIL told Children's Services I abused my children. She believes standing my son in the corner is more tramatic than a whipping. She told them I stick my knees in my son's back ( I stand directly behind him when in the corner. If not he turns around, sits, ....I have never hurt my children and for someone who sees everyday how I am...MIL is very vindictive. anyways, I had to explain to CS what we do, how we believe...so on...Luckily we parent the way they approve and told me to sue her for defemation of character, and to get away as fast and far as we could. If you think there is even the possiblility....keep tabs about your children...I do now.

By the way...if I'm ever on IM me...HoneyNBen

[Nataszka]

Wow these households sound really stressful! And i'm sorry that you have to go through this. I think that idea for the card of "what they can eat" is really awesome. Could you guys maybe give some suggestions for it? And for HoneyNBen: That is a LOT to spend on organic stuff! I recently read an old article in Organic Style about buying organic for less (May/June 2003) and they gave a list of foods high in pesticides and foods low in pesticides. I'm not sure if you would be interested in it , but i'll post it here for you and everyone else who might like it.

FOODS HIGH IN PESTICIDES:
apples, bell peppers, celery, chile peppers, imported grapes, nectarines, peaches, pears, raspberries, strawberries, tomatoes

FOODS LOW IN PESTICIDES:
asparagus, avocados, bananas, blueberries, broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, eggplants, grapefruit, kiwi, mangoes, okra, onions, papayas, pineapples, plums, radishes, watermelons

HOPE THAT HELPS!

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" -unknown.

[HoneyNBen]

Nataszka,
I'd definitly be interested in that article. Would you mind posting a link to it here? I know it's alot of money to buy all organic but I see it as life insurance. You see my mom, grandma, great-grandma all died of cancer of one type or another. My mom was only 40 years old when she died. My grandmother 55. My two aunts have all been treated for colon cancer. My grandfather throat cancer: he is also a diabetic. 3/2 uncles all had cancerous polyps and the other one refused to be tested. Everyone of my greats have had cancer in their lifetime or died of it...And get this...all of the above is just on my mom's side...My dads is bad, but not that bad. My husbands side has had a few cases and are all prone to heartattacks and diabetes. You see my husband and I should never have bred! Our poor kids have so many negitive genes I feel I have to do everything possible to give them a passing chance. So, we're vegan, exercise, play, pray, love, and hope our hearts are pure and we're gave enough love should we go. So...back to the point I wouldn't mind reading that article! :)

Honey

[Nataszka]

I think we all feel better when we buy organic. This article was good because it was meant to show you that you can buy organic without going broke. (It was in the Organic Style magazine, it's not on the internet so I'll type it all up for ya) It shows the before and after lists. The first was non-organic and $52.13 while the second (11 out of 16 items organic) was $51.17 which isn't a huge difference but I thought it was interesting because I would have assumed the second list to be a lot more. Along with the list I previously posted, the article gave some tips to reduce the costs (I'm really sorry but most of it has to do with dairy products....I'll post it anyway because I'm sure most of the tips can be applied to almost any products because they are good shopping habits):

1 SET PRIORITIES: "since the family is concerned about hormones and antibiotics, and [they] drink milk every day, organic milk is a justifiable expense. We found it for the relative bargain price of $4.89 a gallon."

2. BUY LOCAL PRODUCE: "fruits and vegetables that haven't traveled far are likely to have fewer, if any, preservatives. Shop at farmers' markets and look for stores that carry local foods like the Oregon apples we found at New Seasons."

3. COMPROMISE: "At Trader Joe's, organic butter is $3.59 a pound, while regular is $1.79. Juliano split the difference by buying nonorganice butter, free of the hormone BST (bovine somatotropin). This strategy makes sense for items you don't eat often."

4. SHOP AT DISCOUNT GROCERS: "Trader Joe's carries more than 140 organic items, including a well-priced $4.99 maple syrup, which Juliano couldn't resist. Costco and Wal-Mart also sell a large number of organic products at discount."

5. KEEP TRACK OF PRICES: "Many organic fruits and vegetables are now the smae price or cheaper than conventional ones. When you see something that's well-priced - like beans for $0.89 a can - do a taste test."

6. BUY CONVENTIONAL WHEN IT MAKES LITTLE DIFFERENCE:
(see list in my last post)

7. INDULGE A LITTLE: "Denying yourself a favourite food will make shopping for organic products feel like a punishment, rather than something you'll want to stick with. Juliano wasn't ready to give up Hershey's syrup, a family staple."

8. BUY IN BULK: "Well, we tried. Juliano could have saved more by purchasing a single 27-ounce tub of organic yogurt for just $2.49 but opted for the convenience of single 6-ounce servings. "

HOPE THIS IS HELPFUL FOR YOU!

[purpleelephant]

My God you do have my deepest sympathy.
I had to live with the in laws for about a year last year and thankfully although it wasn't ideal, my mil is very well informed about veganism (but then she is veggie herself) The only problems we had was when she had genuinely slipped up (like assuming everything from the health store is vegan, an easy mistake to make!) I found this difficult to approach because its difficult when she tied so hard and you have to say.. . 'well actually..'
There are one or two (well meant) comments, like my husband gets run down quite a lot (more due to stess than anything else) and of couse it does get blamed on iron deficiency and every time we see her now we get inundated with thousands of pots of vegan multivitamins plus iron plus B12. (which although I never say anything, it does hurt a bit as I take special care to include plenty of these things in our diet!)
One of the main things I love to point out is that during my (vegan) pregnancy I got tested for iron levels regularly and whilst everyone (non vegan) I know got prescribed suplements at some point I never had to because they were always up so high. Plus Iona has only had 2 colds in 2 years both of which she got over within 48 hours, has only had one tummy bug which went away over night. Wheras her cousins seem to be sick at least once a month. I'm sure you have things along these lines you can point out to her.
I find that meateaters who critcise the vegan diet for lacking essensial vitamins usualy show their ignorance when you start getting techincal with them. I usually take the approach of launching into a monologue about where we get each vitamin from. Most of them start looking at me blankly as they have never heard of half the foods, let alone half the vitamins!!
Do you think she would set foot inside a health food store for treats rather than fast food places? You could give her a list of vegan candy that the children can eat. Over here you can get these organic vegan jelly bears, the grandparents love getting these for the kids and Iona loves eating them too!!
I hope this has helped a bit.

[sarahrose]

Is your husband now a vegan also? If so, your mother in-law probably sees your actions as an insult to her own parenting skills, since you are doing everything differently than she did, and now she blames you for changing her son's lifestyle, which, I assume was once the same as her's. I am in the same boat, and really, really feel your pain. My mother in law is constantly insinuating that we are sickly and that my daughter and husband are underweight, that I am anemic, the list goes on forever. It doesent matter that we are much healthier than her or that her son's health is now fabulous, it's all a threat to her. Even though you know you are right (which you really are! ) just try to sympathise with her, even though her kind of thinking is maddening!!!! Imagine your kids growing up and eating meat, and raising their families that way. I realize that that is a completely different situation because you would most likely really be worried about their health, but undoubtedly your MIL is also worried about her grandkids health. She seems to not know the recent studies that prove you are right. Show her the position paper on vegetarian diets on the American Dietetic Association website.
About cookware, if it's cast iron, get your own and don't let her use it. It really holds on to the meat taste.
You should try dish soap from Ecover. Its all natural and safe. Good luck-just realize that there are people like you who have to deal with the same crap. P.S -don't kill her- you will eventually move out.

[Krystal323]

haven't been on here in awhile...BUT this is almost my exact situation! My husband is at school for the USAF and we're living w/my parents for 6+ mos. My dad is just the worst--he's constantly rude and undermining towards me and my beliefs in front of my 4 yr old son, and just the other day, I caught him feeding my precious 15 mo old baby girl canned TUNA! I couldv'e puked! My adrenaline was literally surging for two days after that--I don't let her in the den anymore w/o me to supervise. =( My mom is veg but thinks vegan is extreme and "mean" to my 4 yr old son (b/c he's transitioning still and asks her for oreos etc sometimes!). Also, we are tight on $$ so it's hard to order/keep well-stocked w/vegan candy etc from pangea to "appease" my 4 yr old. It's hard when you're in someone else's house though--you've got to take bathroom breaks at least--lol! You just can't watch your kids every second, guarding every bite that comes near their mouths....and if there is a lack of respect for your beliefs, then "accidents" are just inevitable. It is such a shame that those who are the nearest and dearest to us disrespect us so deeply. All I can say is, "this too shall pass" =( Good luck everyone!

[sarahrose]

krystal333 - I can't beleive they gave your baby tuna! My mother in-law gave my daughter beef spaghetti sauce when she was only 11 months! She was sick for a week with diarhea and gas. At that point I really put my foot down and said that if they wanted to see her at all, they would respect my rules! We had moved out of their house by then, so I had the option of following through with it. I hate that all of you have to have your kids in these environments! I pray that you all will get your own places soon, and regain control of your parenting decisions. I really feel for you all because I was there too, and it really was miserable!

[HoneyNBen]

Things are getting easier and harder. MIL found out she's diabetic...and now she's giving me "health advice"...I just listen. I think...I've been saying these things for years. So...

One great thing is after getting in a big fight over some Easter candy that had gelatin in it MIL and FIL refuse to eat Jello and other things w/ gelatin...hey...it's a start. My MIL gagged the other day when I asked her what kind of gum she had gave the kids. I told them to spit it out and when she said why? I said...cause it has gelatin. She was spitting and then went and brushed her teeth. She and fil said..I'd never guess they'd put it in gum.

Then there are bad things...like I made brownies the other day. I had made a set for my daughters birthday party and decided...we want some yummy brownies (hadn't had any in over 3 years!!) So anyway...I make up another batch and I've poured the batter into the pan and I scrape the sides and get a big mouthful of batter and my eye catches.."Beef Fat" in one of the ingredients. I had just swallowed the bite. I was so disgusted. I was just upset. I had read the ingredients a few days ago on the other box. Turns out...some of the boxes have it and some don't. The recipe was changed in the midst of production I guess..so be sure to read EVERY box you buy. Anyway, I tell mil and she's like so? I say...have you no empathy? I mean...I don't salt or add sugar to everything/anything like she does and I've felt for her....having to change her lifestyle overnight and do w/o a lot that she's loved for so long. I couldn't believe it. The woman has no empathy! I could have gave the kids those brownies!!! They would have been so sick...and it was like I was telling her the wind was blowing....

But...I and my hubby are still living here along w/ our children. He's gotten a wonderful job and we will be buying a new house soon. He's making tons of overtime. So...please! please!! pray we get our new house by Christmas!!! There are two...one we love but will have to spend tons on the fix up...and the other meets all the requirements also...but is really a lot smaller than we wanted...but both are definitly a wonderful possibility. Either way...we'll be able to continue w/ our family...but w/ the house that doesn't need fixed up...we will have to move sometime down the line. It just doesn't have the room to house 6 children and 2 adults! :) So...all prayers and good Karma will be greatly appreciated! :)

[VOW]

Please make a trip to the nearest bookstore and get a book for your MIL by Gretchen Becker, entitled "The First Year Type 2 Diabetes: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed." Most people, when first diagnosed with diabetes, get almost NO information other than a copy of the American Diabetes Association 1800 calorie exchange diet, and a prescription for a glucose meter and strips. This book does an EXCELLENT job of educating, in an easy-to-understand format. I think doctors should prescribe the BOOK!

Second, direct your MIL to an eye-opening study:
http://www.pcrm.org/research/diabetes.html

And an extra helping of good luck in getting your new home!



~VOW