5yo daughter likes to *try* non-vegan foods

[lunamama3]

my sweet little girl has always been trying to convert people to veganism since she could talk and i thought she'd make an easy road of this journey for us, but lately she's been asking if she could *try* non-vegan foods at her grandparent's and friend's houses and when i say *i'd rather you waited until you're older to make your mind up about these things...* and gently explain again why it is that we don't eat animals, she pitches a fit and says, *i can eat it if i want to!!!* she won't touch meat, but wants to try things that i can't make successfully like marshmallows or eat cake and things at people's parties (which i can understand). i used to be very careful about bringing vegan things for my kiddos to munch on whenever we go anywhere, but now with 3 kids under the age of 5 (and the little one trying to get into everything all of a sudden!), i'm having a hard time avoiding these situations. can anyone empathize? and/or offer suggestions? i've tried to just lighten up a bit considering that being 100% vegan is impossible anyhow, but we have adopted this lifestyle for several important reasons, you know? boy, am i frustrated...

thanks in advance for any help or support. :)

lisa

[Sylver]

Hi there! I think perhaps your daughter is feeling a little left out. While she understands why you are all vegan, she may not really care in a moment where she feels different within a crowd. I have a five year old daughter also, and when we had just become vegan, there was a birthday party for us to go to, for our friend's daughter. So I had mentioned to my friend that we were vegan and explained it to her, but she couldn't (not sure how) to accomodate us. I brought some veggie dogs for the barbeque, but I didn't bring any sweets. When cake time rolled around, my daughter jumped up and went to the table as fast as all kids do when it's cake time. So anyways, I didn't have the heart to tell her that she couldn't have any (especially as she was still trying to understand this new change) so I looked the other way for the cake. Later at home, I told her about the cake situation, and we together came to the conclusion that only on her friend's birthday parties could she have a piece of cake, and a small piece at that, and only the cake not the other non-vegan treats. This has worked out well, for her, and I really don't feel so bad. Most of the time the cakes are home-made which I feel better about too. She understands that when she eats it, she is eating butter and eggs, etc. but knows that a small amount every now and then won't hurt (this is interesting however, because if she accidently eats something that she thought was vegan, and finds out it's not, she cries and feels horrible.). This is getting long, but I'm not trying to suggest letting her eat whatever, whenever, just that if she is feeling left out, a small compromise might help, as it did for us. Otherwise, I don't really know what advice to offer you.....Maybe someone else can offer you a 100% vegan solution!! Good luck!

[Fiona]

Hello Lisa. Do you think your daughter is feeling left out/just curious about non vegan food/being encouraged by other people to try non vegan food/just going through a rebellious stage? At the moment my daughter (nearly 4) is happy to eat vegan substitutes at parties, i.e. food in the style of the party food, together with sweets for the goody bag and vegan cake. However, if I left any of these elements out, I'm sure she would be disappointed! I also prime her beforehand, so she can get excited about what she'll be eating. This approach works fine for me, although I can appreciate it's tricky with three small ones. Hope you find a solution.

Fiona

[lunamama3]

thanks so much for your responses...i guess i just needed to have my feelings reflected back and affirmed (and also to vent!) i plan on continuing to do the best job i can. :) i really appreciate the support & suggestions. :)

lisa