vegan love

[Dancer]

....looking for vegan love in all the wrong places...lol...a follow up..

Some of you may remember my sad, little family story of mother having tantrum over grown daughters (sister and myself) becoming vegans. Her behavior was over the top, histrionic, abusive language, instance that she would control our eating at her home.....sister and I set boundaries immediately....refused to discuss vegan lifestyle...

Well, I went to her home and brought some soy burgers and whole wheat roles for the "BBQ." Mother decided to have the last word by not serving anything else but meat! The table was set with paper plates and utensils, cups and ketchup. Aside from the meat that was on the grill, there was absolutely nothing else on the table. My sister and I think that the rant before I arrived was to the effect of, "If she won't eat my food, then she will get NOTHING when she comes over." Usually there is tons of salad, potato dishes, and other side dishes. It was obvious that this was her way of raging at me in public.

This has become out of hand. My sister actually went to her clergy for advice and HE suggested that we may have to stay away from her home until she can get herself under control.

We also are realizing that this isn't about the food. It is about control. I may be on the wrong board with this issue!

In any event, I love this board....I read as much as I can here and love the idea that we are a global community. So much collective wisdom and support.....

Also, can anyone suggest some wonderful vegan lunches? I am a school teacher and shall be returning to school shortly.

And Nik....I am a dancer, in my midforties, and am in better shape than most in their 20's---it was great to hear you musings.

My best to all.

[Erin Pavlina]

Dancer,

Boy you are dealing with quite a situation aren't you! I think just the fact that you are aware that this is her problem, not yours, puts you way ahead of things. I think that eventually she could settle down and accept things, but who knows. It's nice to have you sister in on this with you. Just keep on doing what you have to, and try to ignore her behavior.

Keep us updated!

[vegma]

Dancer, there is a lot of vegan love on this board - just keep coming back:) And there's nothing to say you have to go to every family gathering ... unless you want to, of course!

[JudyMH]

Dancer, my heart goes to you and your sister. I'm a mom with a mixture of kids who have diverse dining preferrences. I wouldn't even consider not allowing my meat eating children to grill their meat at my house, I just set up a different barbeque grill for them. I'm thinking your sister had good advice. Although it will break your heart, maybe you should back off for awhile. Your mom is not handling this right at all, even tho she doesn't agree with your choice she needs to respect your right to make it. Lunches are fun, you could get a soup thermos and bring some vegan chilli, or lentil soup. Carrot and Raisin salad is good. Maybe bring the fixins for a Lettuce Salad, or Sandwich. How about cookies or muffins. My imagination is soaring don't mind me. I get off on these tangents. Hope your day gets better, Judy

[Dancer]

Thank you Judy, on all accounts, from vegan chili to the "mother" issue. I speak more about this on the General Forum, but I do believe that my mother is regaining her composure and realizing that she isn't going to win this one. She is very involved in her grandchildren's lives and does not want to alienate her daughters....my sister and I think this weighs in heavily as to the reason for her recent civility. Both sister and I are committed to standing our ground with her and it does become easier after you've said it once, with conviction. It sets good precedence.

You sound like a thoughtful, insightful and devoted mom. I am in my late forties, so I suppose adopting me is out of the question. Okay, okay...just a little levity here....!!!

Love the lunch ideas, the carrot and raison salad appealing expecially to my love of different textures in food.

Very kind of you to send along such good support. My best to you.

Dancer

[JudyMH]

Hi Dancer, I hope you are right about your mum. I related some of my own experiences on your other comments you made on the General Forum. For the sake of you and your sister and your children I'd liike to see this work out. Just stick to your principals. Glad to help on the lunches. alot of times I make a bean loaf and bake it, let it cool and slice it for sandwiches. It works out pretty well. Let me know how you are doing, my positive thoughts are floating to you thru cyberspace, Judy

[Violin]

I'm a dancer and a teacher too! (Currently, I'm in rehearsals for a small local production of The Music Man.) I teach English at a community college, and we started 3 weeks ago. We have no food facilities at this rural-ish school, so I take lots of leftovers. I still love PB&J, but hummus works well too. I also try to get a lot of fruit in my diet, and apples or bananas are very portable. My public library has a book called The Vegetarian Lunchbox with lots of recipes, many are vegan.

[Dancer]

Hello Violin.....thanks for the book tip....I am exploring all possibilites and welcome new ideas. What kind of dance do you do?

[Violin]

I've done ballet, tap, jazz, Hawaiian, and baton twirling. Right now I just do whatever the musical requires. Over the last few years, I've been in 15 musicals with this little group. And I did a bunch in the orchestra (guess which instrument). In 10 minutes I am off to rehearsal for The Music Man, and the dancing is a lot of strutting and kicking. The "little" group is at www.dmtc.org.