What are your biggest concerns about raising vegan children?

[Erin Pavlina]

I'm curious, we're raising vegan children here right? What are your biggest worries, concerns, and fears regarding how to raise a vegan child in a non-vegan world?

[sophie]

I guess I'm worried that they'll be (at any stage of life) made to feel that they are different in a negative way, or teased or alienated because of their differences. I would hate them to ever feel pressured into eating non-vegan (I guess when they're older)just to conform with their peers. I suppose I want them to stay what they are now, which is happy , healthy vegans who WANT to be vegan.

[Laura]

One problem is that it never seems to occur to people that my son WANTS to be vegan, they always assume I've made the choice for him and then they feel sorry for him like I'm somehow depriving him. He has problems with social anxiety and selective mutism (which he's always had and has done a great job at overcoming) and I think sometimes people think he's that way because he's vegan. If he gets sick they'll say it's because he's vegan, etc. It gets frustrating at times but I mostly just let it go. I'm very proud of him for making that decision and I love seeing the delight in his face when we're out somewhere at a store and he sees a "vegan cupcake" at the bakery. I like watching him eat stuff that he can feel good about.

[michelle]

I seem to being having the same problem with people, they atomatically assume that my 9 year old dauther is being made to be vegan against her will.
She becomae vegan out of choice and it doesnt bother her if she cannot have a chocolate bar or sweets.
We go to our local health food store on a Saturday and she picks her treats for the week.
If there is a birthday at shcool she brings home the sweet that she is given and exchanges it for a vegan treat.
Party's are easy as well she just takes her own food.

Her sister of 2 years is vegan as well and again no problems.

Michelle:)

[Laura]

It's encouraging to hear about kids that are making up their own mind, seems a lot of people think young children are like little robots or that they're not developed enough to have an opinion about things like veganism. I'm always in awe at my son's conviction about it, and of course hope it spreads to his friends!

[vegmom2]

My biggest concern about raising vegan children is if i decide to send them to school--was thinking of homeschooling when i was first pregnant and been vegetarian ( almost vegan) for just over a year now--if i homeschool it would be because i love the flexiblitiy of the routine and i love being with my kids. But if it doesn't work out then off to school they will go and i do wonder about that. My boys are both very sensitive and caring and any teasing would be hard on them. Another is how to approach the animal issue. At this past christmas, my husbands parents had a meat brunch with nothing except fruit salad that was vegan, and my 4 yr old went to grab a piece of bacon (a yr ago he was not vegan) so he remembered eating it once and when we said no his parents gave me dirty looks and he cried as if he had done something wrong i felt so bad i am ready to move to a new city away from his parents who can't drop this already!! We constantly fight on this as they think i am making them sick. Even when i brought blood tests showing they have adequate iron and protein etc. they still wouldn't drop it. I have no parents so the support system is none. So i guess perhaps the biggest reason really is sense of community of like minded people.

[Erin Pavlina]

VegMom, you may be particularly interested in reading Raising Vegan Children in a Non-Vegan World. The book covers how to handle family who do and say things like you describe and also how to handle having your kids in the school system.

Check it out at www.vegfamily.com/raising-vegan-children (http://www.vegfamily.com/raising-vegan-children/index.php?src=forumpost)

[molly]

Vegmom, I'll be curious to hear how you handle these things & how they turn out. Two of my biggest concerns (& I haven't even gotten pregnant yet! so I guess I have time to figure it out) are education & relatives. I used to think of public education as a necessary evil, then I read a bit about homeschooling & Montessori, but I still am not sure (well, I am sure I don't like public schools, but I'm not sure what the best solution would be!). And while my mom respects & even admires my veganism (she thinks I'm very disciplined; I keep telling her it's easy, it's no sacrifice, there's so much good vegan food out there!), but sometimes I think my in-laws don't realize there are food groups outside of the animal kingdom. I'm fortunate that they don't actively bother me about it (aside from the occasional mildly offensive question), but I'm sure they will think I'm horrible when they find out my baby will be vegan. I can live with that, as long as they don't try to convince my husband of it! My husband is still (sigh) an omnivore, but I was vegan when we met & he respects my decision, so hopefully that won't become a problem. We have had many long talks about this of course. He has agreed to back me up & let our baby be vegan (because I told him if our child grows up & chooses not to be vegan anymore, that will be his/her choice.... & of course that's technically true but I'm certain s/he will not grow out of his/her compassion!). In the meantime, I need to read Erin's book! :) Honestly, my only other big worry is not that my children will feel too different but that they will feel too sad & hopeless, knowing that mommy is the only person they know who is vegan. I mean, this wouldn't happen 'til they get a little older, but once they really internalize the reasons for being vegan, & once they realize how many people are not vegan, they will have to struggle with the awareness of all the mindless cruelty in the world. It can get so depressing to me as an adult, I really worry how they will handle it. I hope at least they will feel better for being part of the solution, but I'm not sure how much comfort that brings.

[vegmom2]

Molly, I share your thoughts completely and thank goodness you have a mother who sides with you!! My mother died at age 43 but i know she would be there (and is there for me:) ) 100%!! Its just hard when you don't hear it now and then because i too feel it is very disciplined to be as vegans are and although i judge no one for their ways, people judge us--i can't help to think vegans are somewhat more enlightened beings!! Hence the fact we don't judge others. I am glad your husband supports your ways and that you both agree to raise children this way. What i love is when at christmas for example, a store clerk offered my 4 yr old a candy cane and he knows i allow minimal candy (stress minimal) and he said to her --no my mommy and daddy wouldn't want me to have it--so i felt great hope!! He also asks me why people would eat animals and i say because they don't know any better or that i don't know why--i just keep it simple. But the regular public schools don't spark my interest and like you-although i have less time to decide-am not sure of the best alternative so i will give homeschooling a go. They have an organization here that starts at kindergarden where you homeschool at home except once per week when you take the kids to a class and the parents meet during that time to plan field trips and talk about whatever. I like that set up which if i stay in this city, i would start this sept. Shelley