Miscarrige

[Kristine]

When I saw the positive pregnancy test result in September - I was in the seventh heaven, but on Tuesday I was thrown into the deepest black hole..... It happened so quickly (less than a minute) and painless (physically) - even now I'm not able to realize it completely. I cannot understand what did I do wrong? My doc asked if I haven' t been ill - I haven't been ill, but when I told her that all my co-workers had stuffed noses and caughed she said it might have been caused by that. She told me that my pregnancy was between me and infection - it' s so cruel, that I couldn' t stand between my baby and infection instead ....
And on the other hand - everything is very wisely set in the nature, and this tragedy might have happened because of something we cannot foresee but something that might have turned into even worse tragedy?
I suffered so much, yet I' m standing strong - I trust in God. During these days I felt His hand holding me strong and I was not lost in despair. And I've not given up - three days after this tragic event the USG showed that my utterus is almost ' as new' and my ovaries have returned to normal functions. I asked the doctor when can I plan for the next pregnancy and she told me - in spring. So, I' ve made a commitment that this time till spring I will use to boost my health. I'll run in the mornings, I'll have yoga classes and I'll stick even stronger to the vegan diet. When I focus my mind on the future plans, it helps me to overcome the grief.
It would help me even better if those of you who have had similar tragedy (and overcome it) could share your thoughts, please......

[Erin Pavlina]

Kristine, I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest assured it was probably nothing you did, sometimes nature knows best.

My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage at the 9 week mark. Then my system was kittywampus for 6 months. I had no periods and no ovulation. Fixed that with a pill, then got pregnant again 4 months later.

I've now had two kids. You'll have kids too. Don't worry.

[annie7]

I will be praying for you to have peace about your loss. Grief is only temporary. You said you trust in God, so I believe you know your little one is with Him. And one day all the children you'll have, will meet their brother or sister in the greatest family reunion of all.

[cedarseven]

Kristine,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. My first pregnancy was last feb 2003, it ended at 8 weeks in miscarriage. I was devastated, it wasn't painless, physically and emotionally. I let two months go by just to heal then my doc told me i wasn't immune to chicken pox. So I got immunized, even though i really didn't want to. That meant not trying for a baby for three months because i didn't want any residual crap in my system.

That brings us to October.
We are excited to start trying again. I'm scared that it's going to take forever. My cycles have lengthened by one week also so that is adding to the stress. One added bonus my husband has to decided to quite eating eggs and cheese!!!! I'm extremely happy about that. I think he saw how intent I was to heal myself and eat more healthfully and it rubbed off on him.

Actually I joined this board a week before my miscarriage. I stopped posting because I was too distraught. I guess I'm back, Hi everyone. I look forward to joining in more.

Cindy:)

[frenchie]

I can't really relate to the emotional hurt of a miscarriage.....I have had a couple before *knowing* I was pregnant. I can try to offer comforting words. You did nothing wrong. What happened is out of your hands. It's hard to accept the outcome of things that happen outside of our control. Hold onto the strength that the Lord has given you, and know that he has a will for your life. There is a lesson in every tregedy and every triumph....weather it's to humble us, make us stronger or strengthen our faith. He *won't* let you down *ever*. While preparing your body, prepare you heart and your mind as well. Keep focused on the Lord and be patient. Patience was my biggest lesson while trying to concieve. I wish you all the best, and my heart aches for your loss......sincerely. Angie

[iris]

(((HUGS)))

I feel your pain and have been in your shoes before and it hurts so much, i can share with you what helped for me, knowing though that everyone's greiving process is different.

I named my child and had a simple ceremony with a few close friends to morn the passing of the spirit

Love to you and may God hold you tight

[Kristine]

Thank you for your compassion and hugs! When I joined this forum I did it because I felt like among relatives - and today I feel you as my relatives even more.
Thank you once more - and may the God bless you and your little ones (both here and in heaven)!;)

[vegma]

I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you've chosen to share about it - something I didn't do at the time. I miscarried my first pregnancy at 9 weeks (I was not vegan - or even veg - then). Due to life's circumstances (both of my parents died that year, my husband's company closed, mine was sold, new jobs), I wasn't ready to even try again for 3 years. By then I was 40 and we were blessed with a beautiful, bright little baby boy. Best of all, I was also "ready" and able to stay home with him full time! I hope your loss is soon followed by a "little miracle". Hugs.

[mum2sarah]

I am so sorry and understand your loss. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. The thing that hurt most about it in my case was that the baby had died at 12 weeks but I had no clue until I started bleeding at 16 weeks. By then I thought I was past the "danger zone" of the first trimester, and I was devastated. It was painful physically and emotionally, and took me an entire year to mourn before I was ready to try again.

We try so hard to make sense of these things; to find a reason. But I found that trying to make sense of it all was pretty pointless because there's usually no way of doing so. It is better to just allow yourself time to greive and move on with your life. When you're ready and healed emotionally you can try again and odds are everything will be fine next time. Until then, know that there are women like us who understand and share your loss.

[Kristine]

Thank you for being with me in my grief....
You are absolutely right about that human tendency to look for the reasons for everything - I know that it's impossibele to find them all and to evalute.
For me it is a lesson, sad lesson, but anyway a lesson.
The feeling that I'm not alone, that I am supported by so many compassionate women who have experienced the grief and the loss and who have won the battle - that gives me stenght and hope.
I'll probably not post messages untill I've overcome all the phisical and emotional consequences - but I'll visit this forum again and again - to find inspiration and warm loving environment.
Thank you