How do you stop from being overrun?

[AliceFaith]

Hey everyone!
I have my family staying with me this week and am so upset. I used to eat awful and in the past 2 years have made a slow progression towards veganism. (I am very close, have a problem with letting go of cheese) Anyway, my Dad thinks eating well is the fish sandwich at Mcdonalds (yes, he on all kinds of meds) and my sister and her DH and kids eat HORRIBLE. I am in college to be a registered dietician and am very conscious about what my children eat. My guests have brought in soda's, chips, icecream, cupcakes, etc. My children have been eating it and been hyper and out of control. I feel so overwhelmed. I don't want to tell them they can't have it while everyone else is eating it! PLus, they want to go out to eat every night. I rarely eat out. I fix lots of whole grains and veggies. Today they all wanted to go to Hooters, I ordered a salad. My 7 year old ordered a grilled cheese, and my 13 year old son ordered a cheeseburger. To his credit he only ate a bite or two and then said it tasted bad. I didn't stop him from ordering it because I want him to choose this (vegetarian) path by himself. I feel so overwhelmed and since I am pretty new to this I was not sure what to say. I have cooked a meal but the visiting kids were aghast. All they eat is chicken wings, nuggets or cheeseburgers. I haven't seen them eat a single veggie. They didn't know what honey dew melon was! PHEWW I feel better now that I have vented! I am so tired of everyone saying "why can't you just eat normal?"

[Erin Pavlina]

Next time someone in your family says, "Why can't you eat like normal?" you say, "Because I don't want to die like normal."

But seriously I would be aghast at your situation. My family, when they come to visit, always eats better because I exert a certain pressure on them. Plus my daughter, aged 5, always tells them to stop eating meat cuz they are hurting the animals. That kind of guilt can eat away at a person, so they usually eat vegan when they visit.

You might go for a happy medium. Make vegan versions of their favorite foods. chicken-free nuggets, vegan pizzas, veggie burgers slathered in mayo and special sauce, etc. Not the healthiest, but better than what they are used to.

And remember, this too shall pass.

[joanne]

I'd like to add also that it's important to stand your ground. If you are convicted to eat as a vegan, your family should respect that. If they don't, pooh on them! I have a WHOLE LOTTA FAMILY who thinks I'm nuts. Not just for the way I eat - vegan w/ all whole foods, no artificial and packaged stuff - but for the way I handle our medical issues - if I cannot make the meds at home, we will not use them. I got 'picked' on, made fun of, criticized, etc for many years until recently when I sent out a letter to ALL OF THEM and told them exactly why we were doing what we were doing and that I would appreciate it if they kept their negative comments to themselves. I did reference a few books and websites in the letter - saying that if they really wanted to understand, they could read the books and check out the sites. If they had a serious question, not a complaint, they could ask. I asked that they would not offer my kids any more ice cream, cakes, kool-aid, hamburgers, etc etc. It helps my kids to 'say no' to animal products because I've read many things to them from various books, shown them things from the peta site and point out how lots of people around us are over-weight and/or sick all the time. I really can't remember the last time they've been sick. Now when we have get-togethers, I bring a few things to share and a few things for us only, or we eat a little at home before we leave. This has worked great - and my family gets to try more of the yummy food we eat at home! I've also noticed that since I've become VERY strict with the way I eat, the kids have followed suit on their own.

I still get picked on a little, but now it's in fun; and I think they respect my choices more ... or at least they are doing a good job of keeping quiet :D

Anyway, be firm with your beliefs, stand your ground and trust yourself; you are doing a good job. I think most folks have problems with their family and friends not understanding - they are always the biggest hurdle. Good luck!!

[Christa]

The more quotes that I read from Eleanor Roosevelt, the more I like her. Anyway, I read this one the other day that I think applies to your situation:

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway.

And, then you have my wise grandmother's quote:

You eat what the cook likes.

I have a friend's child who basically refuses to eat anything we have in our house. She'll take a bite & then spit it out declaring it to be awful. This holds true for everything from pancakes to granola bars. Nothing we make tastes "right" to her. I figure that it is just her tough luck. I'll give her whatever she wants to eat that we have here, but if she doesn't like it, she's the one who is going to be hungry. I also think that it is in people's best interests to broaden their horizons & try different things. Another one of my dd's friends also doesn't always care for everything that we have around, but her parents have taught her to be polite and to say that she doesn't care for it, but thank you anyway. She is a sweet kid to be around :D . There is always something that these kids will eat even if it is only apples. And, if they won't even eat apples, then shame on their parents for raising children who are so narrow minded and unfamiliar with anything healthy.

[alexis]

wait, aren't they your houseguests? If so, as your guests, polite manners would dictate that they don't bring anything that will be offensive to you into your house, right? I'm something of an a** so if my family did that, I would sit them down for a good talking to, but maybe you could try asking them at least to not bring stuff into your house and lay off the negative comments. But yeah, that's my pretty a**holic two cents worth anyway. And well, erin's suggestion of making them healthier versions of junk food would be a good idea.

[AliceFaith]

Well, I thought about the comments posted on here and tonight when the talk of eating out came up I said that my family would just eat here, it ended up with only my sister and her DH going out on a date. I cooked a lentil soup with soy meat in it and a big salad. Everyone ate it and the 15 year old boy asked for seconds. My little neice said she didn't care for it but the "bean things" (lentils) weren't so bad. My Daddy was the funniest. He said, with a sly look, "there was a some thing in that soup that I thought you didn't eat" Haha it was soy meat!! He was so shocked! :p
So, thank you, I am trying to show people how I eat politely but it is hard. I tried some meditation today and that helped!

[vegma]

My closest "blood" family outside of dh and ds is a cousin that won't come to dinner anymore, and if we go to her house, we have to bring our own food (partly because we're vegan, partly because we're organic, won't eat hydrogenated oils, etc.). But we still maintain a non-food relationship.

My in-laws live so far away they have only visited once since we became vegan. We asked them not to bring food into the house. They can eat what we eat. If we go out to eat (which we don't - LOL), they can order whatever they wish. In spite of that, they are making a return trip this summer. We have a couple of restaurant gift certificates that we can't/won't use, so we will let them use them while they're here.

[MrsKey]

Originally posted by Erin Pavlina
Next time someone in your family says, "Why can't you eat like normal?" you say, "Because I don't want to die like normal."


That is an awesome response!!! I think I may borrow that.