View Full Version : Would this be unfair to ask?
08-12-2005, 12:11 AM
I'm sharing a dorm with a friend this school year. She's omni, and I was considering asking her if the dormroom could be a meat-free zone. When I eat in the cafeteria, I have to constantly see and smell meat, so my room is the only potential place where I could eat in peace without the sight/smell of meat. Also, the refrigerator and microwave belong to me, and I would be a little uncomfortable with meat going in them.
I don't want to seem bossy or controlling, but I also need my piece of mind.
Would it be unfair for me to ask her to not bring meat into the room? How do you guys feel about meat in your kitchen/house/fridge? I'm wondering if I'm being too anal here.
08-12-2005, 04:32 AM
At work, my boss and I share a refrigerator and he's been doing Atkins for a while. He's my boss, so I put up with it. I live by myself (well, with 2 cats) so it's not an issue at home.
But roommates in a dorm is a tricky situation. You guys are just roommates, not in any sort of partnership/relationship. Is there a middle ground somewhere you can reach? You can hardly tell her not to put the extra slices of pepperoni/sausage pizza in the refrigerator. What about asking to have no raw meats around at all, and if possible keep the cooked ones to a minimum? You can have meat and non-meat dishes, too, if you want.
One of the challenges of living with someone with different beliefs is learning to respect the other's beliefs, stay true to your own, but not to impose on each other. It's a tightrope act! One of my college alumni magazines was all about roommates. A story in there talked about a Christian and Muslim sharing a room. The Christian would remind the Muslim about doing his prayers, so clearly supported the difference. At the same time, they didn't impose their differences on the other.
08-12-2005, 09:02 AM
I would say in this case it would not be fair to ask her to refrain from putting omni foods in your refrigerator.
It sucks for you, but until you are in a situation that is fully yours to control, thems the breaks. :rolleyes:
08-12-2005, 09:15 AM
i think it would be more fair to ask her not to eat meat in front of you. what if she has a TON of homework and wants to eat at her desk instead of in the cafeteria? or if she knows that you are out for the evening and wants to order a pizza with another friend?
when i was in college, i went through room mates like water. there's enough other things you'll end up disagreeing about, like staying up late, boys over, a slob vs being neat, taste in music, etc.
i think you have to be extra careful in this room mate situation since this is a friend. you don't want to ruin a perfectly good friendship over something silly like one of you leaving clothes in the middle of the floor. i heard that 2 girls from my class in high school who were best friends decided to room together freshman year. they almost killed each other by the middle of the semester. these girls were inseperable in high school but were not on speaking terms by december.
not to be mean, but you also have to remember that its not just "your" room. only half of it is. and honestly, thats not totally true. i remember trying to go to bed early freshman year since silly me had an 8:30 class and my room mate would be on instant messenger with the annoying chimes blasting, talking to her stupid boyfriend. they would get into an arguement, so he would call her (long distance) and they would make up. then they would go into their "i love you" "no, i love you more" "no i love you more" thing before they would hang up. i wanted to just hang up FOR them and be like, you love each other the same! now shut up and go to bed!
basically, being room mates is like being married without the sex.
good luck in college this semester. on another note, dont buy your books at the bookstore unless you absolutely have to (ie, a lab manual, a newly published book, etc). go to ebay, amazon, or half.com and buy whatever you can secondhand.
08-12-2005, 11:48 AM
I totally agree with all the advice given, however I roomed with a friend in college and would've been more than happy not to have meat in the room if she had asked-well I was so buys having my lameo eating issues that we rarely had food in the room but anyhow....so it wouldn't hurt to ask how she would feel about it. Just approach it lighthearted and see how she reacts-she might be on board and even ask questions-had I had a vegan roommate who discussed why they were vegan and issues around it I wouldn't have waited till 35 to realize the horrors of it.
08-12-2005, 11:54 AM
I don't see anything wrong with asking how she feels about it. We don't allow animal-product foods in our house, although it is different when you're sharing the space. I remember my college days - we rarely had ANY food in the fridge, let alone meat!:p
08-12-2005, 01:32 PM
Unfortunately, I don't think you can ask her to do that. It is her room and fridge as well. I also think that she will be more receptive to your diet/lifestyle if she doesn't feel you are pushing it on her--and you may then have more success talking to her about it.
I will say however, that in my experience there is not a ton of meat in college fridges anyway. None of my college friends were veggie, but everyone basically lived on pasta because it was cheap and easy. :)
You may be able to work out some sort of compromise--maybe your friend will be curious and want to try it out! However, I would proceed will diplomacy and respect. Good luck!
08-17-2005, 04:01 AM
Is there any way you can pre-empt things by searching for another vegie person to be your roomate?
There must be a few on campus and the person may be quite happy to swap if they haven't moved in yet.
08-18-2005, 09:30 PM
No, I don't want to switch roommate, because she's my friend and I chose to room with her. It's not an end-all-be-all; I was just wondering if it would sound outrageous or not.
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