vegan birthday party

[sarahrose]

My daughter is turning four in two weeks, and I am having a huge party with people with many different eating habits. My question is (realistically ) is it rude to only serve soy delicious ice cream? I don't want to, but would it be a good hostess move to also offer cow ice cream? I know people will love my vegan cake ( from a gourmet bakery- they better like it! ) and my vegan food, which is not obviously vegan- just platters of falafel balls and tahini, fruit, veggies, hummus and pita, vegi dogs, ect... I know all of that will be fine. I'm just concerned that people will think I'm selfish for not accomodating their eating patterns. Any feedback here?

[tricia]

I'm having the same issues cuz in about 2 wks my daughter turns 5... my step mom is making the cake and has no issues making a vegan one... but im in the same dilemma with the ice cream..

cuz im a starving student...lol... we r doing a pizza party... and my daughter wants me to make a shepherds pie that she is in love with.... sorry i cant be of no help...but hey anyone got any ideas....

[Ckflew]

I don't think it's rude to only serve soy delicious ice cream. After all, you and your family get to eat the leftovers!

My only concern would be for those who are allergic to soy. I don't think anyone else would notice the difference.

Of course, I am serving my parents a vegan Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday!

Colleen

[tricia]

i've thought bout telling people im buying soy choc ice cream and since i know no one is allergic i think i will be ok..if they dont like it they can bring their own....lol....

[duckie1978]

I don't think it is rude at all.

Think about it another way, if your child had a life threatening allergy to a food you would make sure there is no trace of that food anywhere and no one would say 'boo' to you. If s/he was a diabetic or ate kosher foods, all of your guests would know that food is going to be appropriate for the guest of honor.

What kid wants to go to a party where they are the "it" kid and they can't eat certain foods. For *one* day a year, they aren't the kid eating the weird food at the birthday party. Everyone is eating her/his food; everyone is on your child's playing field.

Every guest at your party should be very happy that you are putting such high quality and *expensive* food into their mouths along with whatever else expense you put into the party. The kids won't know that the ice cream is any different or the cake, whatever you are having. Food is food and as long as it tastes good, the food will get eaten.

[Erin Pavlina]

It's not rude at all.

Get a really great tasting ice cream. the purely decadent line is so good that my meat eating parents now buy it instead of regular ice cream.

Soy Dream's Strawberry swirl is good too.

[sarahrose]

Thank you all for your advice, and I know you are right-it's not rude. I just always worry (probably needlessly) about making all of the guests happy, but, my little guest of honor should be happy above all else, and I guess everyone will just have to skip the soy ice cream if they don't like it! Last year everyone loved the food, but I served cow ice cream then as well as soy, but this year I will not be pushed over. I suppose it's mostly my in-laws who make me feel pressure on this issue ( I am having the party at their house this year because it will fit more people than my house) And they think vegan is too extreme. Vegetarian is bad enough, without causing my daughter additional health risk by avoiding dairy also! But, it is my daughter's party, and they will just have to live with it.

[Erin Pavlina]

Sometimes when I've gotten pressure from family to allow non-vegan items at our parties I'll say, "Are you telling me that people can't go one meal without eating an innocent animal? Boy, talk about addiction."

Once I throw it in that light they usually realize how dumb they're being.

Oh, and while i'm thinking about it... I love it when people say, "Oh, I don't like vegan food." And I'm like, "So you never eat fruit or veggies?" They're all confused after that. Like vegan food is some sort of pre-packaged food you pick up at the vegan supermarket. Lordy.

[duckie1978]

Besides how long is the party going to last? If they are that desperate for dairy ice cream they can go to the store on the way home from the party. :0)

[annie7]

No way is it rude to only serve soy! It would be rude to serve dairy (to the cow at least!). Besides, you were right on target... you aren't planning a utopia day for every other kid and parent, you are doing it for YOUR kid! It's HER special day. Let her be able to grab anything her little heart desires and munch down on it without having to have you police it!

[sophie]

Personally, I wouldn't even consider serving cow-milk icecream! The only problem with serving soy icecream is that, well at least where I live, it's quite expensive compared with cow-milk icecream. It's your daughter's birthday and the food you are serving sounds delish, there is no reason to compromise your beliefs to make your guests (who probably won't notice) happy. I've hosted a few birthday parties in my time, and every time they have been 100% vegan which I see as a great opportunity to show everyone that our kids are not deprived at all.
Good luck!

[sarahrose]

Everyone says that! Last year, my side of the family almost had a heart attack when they saw cow ice cream ( although at least it was organic, and meat, as always, is absolutely out of the question ). I guess I am just a really paranoid hostess- but, as you well know I am also almost militant about my beleifs, and it only gets worse- so I think what I did last year will not happen again. But, leave it to me to obsess about it anyways!

[sophie]

I just remembered, at my daughter's 4th birthday in March, we had a little party at my parents' place, just my children and their two meat-eater cousins. Well, we (me, my mother, and my sister) had gone to a lot of trouble getting all this lovely vegan food together, and when I turned up my mum announced that she had cooked up some meat sausages for those that ate meat! I was really upset, this was my daughter;s special day and there was no reason to have any meat there. I told her I didn't want it on the table and she got a bit offended, but eventually agreed to keep the meat inside away from the party food. Well, no-one touched the meat, except for my parents, and I guess that was so it didn't go to waste. There was just no need to have it there, there was so much good vegan food that it was ridiculous even having the meat there.

[annie7]

Obviously your parents were aware of the time and trouble you went through to prepare your daughter's birthday food, especially since she sort of helped..... didn't she think YOU were the one who might be offended? By the way, what did they say when they realized that no one was breaking down the door to get at the sausages??

[sophie]

Annie- I think they sort of admitted defeat (at least inwardly!). My parents are actually pretty wonderful about the vegan thing, they have never once questioned it, I guess because the kids are so healthy and smart, they are grrreat advertisements for veganism. But I do notice, when my two non-veg neices stay with them (they live in another city so they come down to stay maybe once a year) my parents get sort of excited about all the stuff they can feed them with no restraints. I think that is why they served the sausages, it was like a novelty for them to be able to feed grandchildren meat! My older sister is the only meat-eater sibling I have (my younger sis is vegan and my brother is vegetarian) and mum ALWAYS cooks her roast chicken when she comes and gets all excited about it.

[annie7]

How did you and your sister become vegan and your brother a vegetarian? And are you "working on" the sister who is a hold out (ha ha)? It's great that your kids are "poster kids for veganism". I don't know why people have the idea that we all have to look a certain way (like we're knocking on death's door!). Once I found a web site that listed a bunch of celebrity veggies and vegans, and I didn't know they were!

[Sheree]

I had a vegan birthday party when my daughter turned 3. It was an overall success, although there were a few people from my husbands family who didn't eat much (his grandparents ate nothing). My mother-in-law's friend was the only one I heard complaining about the "chewey" veggie dogs. There was a brief discussion between her and my father-in-law about what's really in hot dogs (which he hasn't eaten in many years since learning the truth)...she said "you're not supposed to tell us what they're made of! That's unAmerican!" That statement made me want to barf. Anyway, every one else loved the spread...and I went all out. Had pesto, hummus and flatbread for those who might not want a veggie dog. There were fruit kabobs and a vegetable platter. Chips & dips, pasta salad and 100% fruit juice boxes and bottled water. Most was organic...including the candy inside the pinata (which I filled 1/2 with little toys). I made a chocolate cake and served it with Soy Delicious, and only one person commented by saying "It's not the same as ice cream, but I like it". I worked my tail off and spent a *&%#-load of money, but it was well worth it! I had to do it.

[sarahrose]

you are my party twin! Those foods were exactly what I served last year! You can really epreciate all that I go through to have wonderful food, and also have it be healthy. I recently took my daughter to a party that had only soda to drink, pepperoni pizza and cheese pizza, and velveeta nachos (yuck).

[sophie]

Well, the non-veg sister is actually the one who went vegetarian at age 15, and was on-again-off-again vegetarian for a long time. In her early 20's she went vegan for about a year, then back to vegetarian until she reached the age of about 27 (she is 36 now). She got very involved with the Steiner community and she married a Steiner teacher and sort of learnt a lot from him, including the Steiner belief that it's ok to eat meat, and vast quantities of milk! They eat a lot of grains and organic vegetables, but eat organic meat occasionally. They eat loads of eggs and drink lots of unpasteurized organic milk! She knows all the vegetarian arguments, I know because I heard her argue with a meat-eater once when she was a vegie! But I don't think she'll change now, sadly.
As for my other sibs, well, I think we all have a leaning towrds alternative lifestyles etc. My brother has been vegetarian for a long time, he was vegan for quite a while then started eating dairy which disappointed me. He had an eating disorder at one stage so we try not to make a big deal about what he eats, as long as he's eating a lot it's good!
My little sister is 7 years younger than me and went vegan soon after I did, she started off vegetarian and then I got her to read some stuff and she was vegan in no time! Unfortunately she has a problem absorbing B12 and keeps getting deficient, but it hasn't swayed her. It certainly makes family get-togethers more enjoyable when there are so many vegetarians to hang out with!

[annie7]

I can't imagine a "get together" with other vegans or veggies. That seems wonderful! I think it would be an awesome thing to go to a vegan "pot-luck" or picnic! I would say to keep working on that sister, but she seems pretty adamant and obviously already informed, since she's "been there". Too bad. Maybe the longer she see's the rest of you "staying your course", she'll eventually come back around. Or maybe it'll happen when she gets her cholesterol checked! Yikes, loads of eggs and milk... heartburn and heart attack waiting to sneak up!

[sophie]

Yes, it is the same old "reformed vegetarian" story we've been talkign about in that other thread. I guess it doesn't bother me much because we live far from each other, but if I saw her all the time it would bug me. My dad told me the other day that my sister and her husband had "bought a quarter of an organic steer", ie, someone was going to kill a cow and they were buying a quarter for their freezer. It made my stomach turn. My sister would never tell me things like that because I'm vegan. I feel a bit sad that she isn't veg, she's a very spiritual person in a lot of ways, but we get along very welll anyway. Oh yeah- and her husband just found out he's deficient in B12- just goes to show how great cow milk is!!!!!

[GranolaMommy]

Just an aside, Rudolf Steiner was vegetarian and promoted vegetarianism.

"Rudolf Steiner chose to follow a vegetarian diet in 1900, and later recognized that he would not have been able "to go through with the strenuous activities of the last 24 years [of his life] without vegetarian nutrition." He apparently made it clear, however, that he "was not agitating for vegetarianism," but he also said that it is a necessary step in humanity's progression, such that it will happen of its own accord and requires no agitation."

http://www.waldorfhomeschoolers.com/steinerveggie2.htm

[annie7]

You KNOW what you have to do now....Go offer him SOYmilk! LOL!

[sophie]

Annie and Granola mommy-
Well, yes, the other thing that my Steiner following B12 deficient brother-in-law is against is SOY. I don't think Steiner would have had a say in this as I'm sure soy wasn't big in 19th century Germany. I don't know a great deal, but Peter (brother in law) has this belief: meat, eggs, dairy (biodynamic)=good. Soy, potatoes, mushrooms, tomatoes= bad. I know where the tomatoes, potatoes thing comes from as they are 'nightshades'. Mushrooms because they grow in the dark. I can't remember why they are anti-soy, something about the soybean having animal characteristics, can't remember. I think a lot of Steiner beliefs are great, but other times I think he needs to be brought into the millenium. We are NOT living in 19th Century Germany now. I didn't realise Rudolf Steiner went vegetarian, I'll have to ask my sister about it. I know so many great Steiner people, and most of them eat meat, and it seems really odd to me, they seem like the kind of people who would be vegetarian.

[annie7]

To turn down a plant because it has animal characteristics, but go ahead and eat the animal...hmmm. Maybe they thought the animal had plant characteristics?:rolleyes:

[sarahrose]

It sounds like your sister and brother in law follow something similar to the weston a price foundation- hates soy ( claimes it causes cancer, among many other things) and thinks eating animals is o.k as long as it's organic. Weird......:confused:

[sarahrose]

The party was a success! Everyone raved about the food. I had make your own falafels, which were made by a friend from his mother's recipe who is from Syria, I had vegi dogs, hummus and pita, greek olives, guacamole and tortilla chips, green salad, fruit salad, vegi platter, celery w/ peanut butter, and much more...... Everyone loved it, exept my mother in law, who microwaved herself a ham and cheese chimichanga, and my brother in law, who made himself a ham and cheese on white bread sandwich. My husband said something about it to his mom, and almost had an argument, but he diffused it in time. Everyone loved the strawberrie soy delicious, and my mother in law kindof looked on dissaproving as her church friends had serving after serving, then asked me where they could get some. It was great!

[duckie1978]

I am sorry but I had to point out this: everyone ate your nice healthy vegan food but two people. And what did they choose? Processed meats and cheese on processed white bread and a chimichanga, which I am sure is not the healthiest choice. It always amazes me that people will eat *the* junkiest foods to avoid vegan food.

[sophie]

Sarahrose- I'm so pleased your party went well. Sounds like the party of my childrens' dreams!:)

[sarahrose]

I was not surprised at all by the fact that they refused to try my food. There is this wonderful vegetarian restaurant in my area that my husband wanted to go to for his birthday ( they invited him to dinner and told him to choose the restaurant ) when he told them he wanted to go to the vegetarian house, they refused. His mother claimed that her body needs animal protein, and without it, her blood sugar will be unbalanced. I told her that since my dad went vegan he was able to get off his diabetes medication, and his doctor said his blood sugar was better than it's been in years. Even after that, she refused, claiming she needed the 'glucosamine found in meat' ( it is not in meat- it's only found in cartiledge and crab shells)..............Oh well, she drives me nuts, but I'm stuck with her. At least everyone else was grateful that I served their children healthy food, and the people without kids were grateful that I wasn't serving artery clogging junk.....

[vegma]

Congrats on the successful party!