non vegan parent

[veganerd]

uuuhhh. ive got a new problem i wish i never had. my daughters mother ( who hasnt lived with my daughter or myself for a couple years now. ) was vegan for 5 years. all throughout her pregnancy and when she lived with us. now she eats meat and as disgusting as that is by itself...the real problem is that just this last time my daughter visited her...my daughter confided in her aunt that her mother would only cook non vegan or vegetarian food and make her eat it. then made her promise not to tell me. my sister who my daughter told, is not even vegetarian but is super supportive of us being vegan, was really upset about this and told me. my daughter is nearly 5 and has been vegan since conception ans is really adament about it was very upset about it also. but found it impossible to stand up to her mother. im at a total loss on knowing what to do. has anyone else had any problems similar to this?

[EricP]

Well I don't have any similar experiences, but what your daughters mother is doing is wrong.

I'm the type of person that would consider that a form child abuse. As extreme as that sounds, I see it in the same light as pushing drugs to a child. It does not seem like they fed her non-vegan food "by accident".

As hard as it might be, I would confront her mother and explain to her that if this situation happens again, she would risk losing the chance to see her daughter. Maybe someone else has a more 'rational' method to handle this, but that's what I would do.

Please keep us updated.

Regards,

EricP

[molly]

Your daughter shouldn't have to stand up to her mother at her age, for anything. Sounds like her mother is using her to hurt you perhaps? I know that sort of thing happens sometimes when parents separate. If she (the mother) was vegan, she obviously knows it is a healthy way to live, & is not feeding her other things out of ignorant concern for your daughter's well-being. I don't know what sort of arrangement you have, but I agree that you should tell the mother to stop or lose the privilege of sharing meals with her daughter, at the very least. Simply put, she is doing something that hurts your daughter (physically as we know, but emotionally as no one could possibly deny), & there is absolutely no reasonable explanation for it. That's not someone who should have unsupervised time with a child in my opinion. I hope you can settle it calmly though, by just talking to her privately. Your daughter shouldn't have to go through any of her parents' problems. Her mother needs to learn that. What a horrible position she put her daughter in!