Hello!

[Mandala]

I'm a new mommy to a 6 mo. DH is a die hard carnivore but very supportive of my diet and agrees that it's going to be healthier for our baby to be vegan, too. We've made some rules for future issues (zoos , aquariums , in-laws , baby's curiosity about meat , etc) and we'll deal with them as they come, so far it's been great!

[veganloraine]

your post sooooo reminded me of when our oldest ds (now almost 6) was a baby and i was panicking in the car with dh alreadly about school and school trips to a local marine animal torture park , etc. etc.

you will deal with them as they come and everything will work out well, as it has for us. my only advice would be to honest with your child (not graphically so) and he will thrive in the choices you've made together.

[Mandala]

I found that "Raising Vegan Children In A Non-Vegan World" by Erin Pavlina is a huge help. I've read it cover to cover and it's full of very helpful and realistic advise.

[veganloraine]

i have that book too and it was a HUGE help. my favourite advice is to always have vegan treats hidden away at school or at home in the freezer. that's been a life-saver. although, the vegan treats at school kept mysteriously disappearing out of the staff lounge. hmmm....

[kjmckenzie]

I agree, when I am on the ball and have substitutions for what other people are eating (usually cake is the most important one to ds) I do not have any problems. The occasional time when I forget or didn't have time it is a bit moree difficult, but I usually tell him that when he gets home we will "cook" a cake or whatever it is and then distract him. He is too young to understand what is different about how we eat or even that it is different at all but so far he has been pretty good about it!

[sherryberry]

Hi,
I am married to a great guy who unfortunately is not vegan. In fact, he is a restaurant manager for a steakhouse of all places. I want my children to be vegan, but if we go out to dinner, my husband likes to give my son things like bacon, sausage gravy, and ice cream. It makes me crazy, because my son doesn't ask for it, Ronnie just gives it to him. I should also say that Ronnie is a very stubborn person who boasts that his food groups include meat, mayo, chocolate, and beer. I have read Erin's book and it was helpful, but how do I get my husband to respect my wishes without nagging?

[veganloraine]

oh sherryberry! that's a tough one! could your husband be feeling a little defensive because he does work in steakhouse and by requesting that your child be vegan your judging him and his "manly" duty of "bringing home the bacon" - more literally so in your case. reassure him that this is not so! we all have our paths in life. your child has a right to choose veganism or not when he's older, but for now you want to do what's best for him health-wise, environmentally-wise, spiritually-wise. you can't take back all the animals you ate as a child.

also, perhaps there is something that your husband wants for your child that you're not keen about. for us it was baptizing the children. i didn't see the need as we aren't religious, but dh insisted. if you can give him that perhaps he will be more inclined to give you a respected vegan child.

i hope this helps! let me know what you decide to do.

[sherryberry]

Thank you for your reply, Lorraine. He appears to respect my wishes in the house, but not outside the home. I guess I have to live with that. The other night at dinner, he got my son some ice cream after I asked him not to, but when he tried to give some to my 14 month old, I pushed the spoon away. She didn't care, so why introduce her to it?
Now he's grumbling that there is no food for him inside the house and he says that shows I don't care about him. He won't even try my veg alternatives. I am torn between making him happy and doing something that totally goes against everything I believe in.
Any suggestions?

[Teawithsu]

Sherry, I feel ya' on this one. We have th same situation w/stepdad, B. I've told him I only want th best for him; he can poison himself outside th house, not around me. When we go out, when he's in good space, he usually gets shrimp instead of beef/chicken. In his heart/mind he's trying, so I commend him for that. I have found that if I tell him how I FEEL, he's more likely to absorb it (usually later) than if I tell him what I KNOW. Or, I tell him "I've just learned...", and he listens a bit. Let him know, once we're educated on th truth, then we can make informed decisions and let our conscience be our guide.

<Now he's grumbling that there is no food for him inside the house and he says that shows I don't care about him. He won't even try my veg alternatives. I am torn between making him happy and doing something that totally goes against everything I believe in.>

[izzyfox]

Originally Posted by sherryberry

He won't even try my veg alternatives. I am torn between making him happy and doing something that totally goes against everything I believe in.
Any suggestions?

This sounds exactly like my life right now haha... unfortunately I don't have any advice for you-- but if you ever want to rant with someone who is in the same boat, you can email me: kicklikekiwi@hotmail.com