Proper Etiquette?

[sunny veggie]

I know I ask a lot of questions, but I really don't know where else to pose these questions. This is all still so new to me. I have one vegetarian friend and I don't know any vegans.

I have neighbors and friends who are offering to cook meals for us after we have our baby in November, but I'm very leary of this. I've been vegetarian since April and now DH and I are planning on becoming fully vegan in about two weeks. What on earth could I tell them to cook. I'd just feel terrible if people generously spent time making us food and it turned out we couldn't eat it. On the other hand it would seem very rude to tell people, "no thank you" to their kind offers.

Help!

[feline01]

Wow, that's so nice of them. I would have loved offers like that after I had my twins. Me and my husband were all alone and trying to deal with preemie twins while having to get shopping, cooking, laundry and other household stuff done. It was horrible.

Anyway, back to your question. This is a perfect time to "educate" your neighbors a bit. Maybe make up a suggestion list of things they'd be familiar with but happen to be vegan like spaghetti and marinara, salad, hummus, bean dishes. Maybe explain a little bit about your beliefs and what, as a vegan, you can't eat. They might find it very interesting.

[Erin Pavlina]

Buy or loan them a vegan cookbook, and perhaps earmark a few recipes you like with EASY to find ingredients.

Or print some out from online.

Or, give them some ideas that are super easy and as "normal" as possible, like spaghetti with marinara sauce, or steamed veggies and rice, or something like that.

When I was a new vegan my uncle went to a bakery and got us some "vegan" goodies. He was so thrilled to have found them and was so excited to be able to offer us something. I looked at these treats and they looked like they had dairy in them. I said, "Are you sure these are vegan? They don't look vegan?" He was insulted and siad, "The sign said non-dairy, so they must be vegan."

Again, I was new... so I ate them. They were delicious. Next time I was at that bakery I discovered all of the items had eggs in them. Eggs were considered non-dairy by the bakery. Ugh!

So even when someone means well....

[annie7]

Originally posted by Erin Pavlina
Buy or loan them a vegan cookbook, and perhaps earmark a few recipes you like with EASY to find ingredients.

Exactly!! Right on target!!

[joanne]

Another suggestion - make a list to hand out of what you DON'T eat. You can say you are 'vegan' till you turn blue ... but some people just don't get it!! You can say "I do not eat ANY animal products". But, they will not think about things like geletin, casein, whey, etc. Also, some people do not consider eggs animal products, or yogurt, or cheese, etc. Crazy, but true.

So, a list of possible recipes or dishes for them to make (the cookbook idea was great!) and a list of items you do not eat would be great.

People will not think you are being rude, and if they do, pooh on them! And, like someone already said, they might learn a thing or two ... especially if the cookbook you let them borrow has an introduction of 'why vegan'.

[PikkuMyy]

I think it's a great idea to give them specific recipes or meal ideas with all of the ingredients or suggestions for brands. Then they don't even have to think of what to make! How could it be easier!

[vegma]

And then there's hopelessly rude me who asked for positive thoughts instead! But nice as they are, you just can't eat them!

[r14stars]

These are great suggestions. As far as the etiquette part is concerned, I think that if you express sincere gratitude, people will not be "offended", especially the type that is kind enough to make an offer to help out like this. A "thank you" and a smile go a long way.

[sunny veggie]

These are great ideas. Thanks!

BTW, Feline01, I can't imagine how difficult those first few weeks must have been for you. My MIL lives w/ us and I've often wondered how people get everything done w/ just two people.