|
Articles and Information
Can Vegetarians Adopt Children? Our Story
by Shirley and James Dumas
When my husband and I became vegetarian over eleven years ago we decided to make another change, we wanted to adopt several children. Little did we know what a big change it would cause in our family.
When we started on our path toward parenthood we became foster parents. We took the classes required and several children were placed with us. We fed them organic food and chemical free, dye and coloring free snacks and almost overnight we saw a change in the children. Most noticeable was a behavior change, and this didn't go unnoticed by the State Officials when we took the children into the office for a visit to pick up some papers. We tried to explain that the fact that they were eating differently had helped the children, but our conversation fell on disbelieving ears. No one was familiar with an organic diet. Still the children seemed to thrive on it and nothing more was mentioned about our vegetarian lifestyle for the time being.
Several more children were placed with us, and two of them had heart problems. One was on medication for his little heart (he had been a preemie baby) and the other was on a heart moniter. Both were doing well. Also, there was a little girl that we hoped to adopt as well as the preemie little boy. Our diet became quite an issue since children that are born of parents that have abused drugs and alcohol have growth problems. We were accused of not feeding them a healthy diet even though we had a nutritionist help advise us on the diet.
This caused a problem between us and the State and we had decided not to reapply for our foster care license. We told the State that we wanted instead to adopt. We were sent a letter saying our license had been revoked, but this was not true. We had simply never reapplied and we kept our paperwork to that effect. We were not allowed to keep the children and that caused us to lose out on our first adoption attempt. We had the Welfare Department in our area investigated; we wanted someone to look into what had happened to our family. This did not go over well with the officials. It seems that people get upset but few people demand that anything be done about it. We were told that we simply cared too much for the children, that they were not our children, they were wards of the state.
After this ordeal we decided to look for a private adoption agency that would allow us to adopt. We told all the different agencies that we were vegetarian, we held nothing back. We even told them about our problems with the State agency. We finally found an agency that would work with us and were accepted. We were over-joyed! The National Health Federation out of California loaned us $450.00 to use and told the adoption agency we were ready to be parents. Nothing could stop our dream of having a baby, or so we thought.
When we saw our baby boy for the first time it was love at first sight, everything was perfect. He was so beautiful. We took him to see everyone we could think of because we had told almost everyone we knew about our baby; the people at the bank, our local health food store, neighbors, our church members, etc. When we arrived home late that night we couldn't sleep, we layed awake all night watching him and smiling and humming. He watched us and we watched him, we were at last a family complete and forever.
It wasn't long before the State stepped back into our lives. It seems that not everyone was as happy for us as we were for ourselves. Little issues were coming up about our diet and the fact that our son was having some behavior problems. Our baby was Fetal Alcohol Effected and what was normal for him was seen as abnormal to parents whose children were not born of parents who abused drugs and alcohol. He had mood swings going from smiles to tears for no apparent reason and he was small for his size. He would also go to anyone without fear and people started talking, not understanding that what they were seeing was not abuse or neglect but was in fact quite normal for this child. If they had come to us we could have shown them documentation to this fact and would have gladly put their fears to rest.
Sadly, they did not come to us. Instead they reported us to the CPS State Officials and two policemen showed up at our church during a midday Sunday Service. Quite a show of force was shown for a mother and a father and a baby. We happened to have left church early that Sunday, something that we rarely do. My husband had an important meeting to attend and we went as a family. At that meeting an International Union Representative saw our son, and many members of the local union did as well. We were later glad for this since they tried to help us.
When we returned home our neighbor told us that the policemen and two workers for the State had come to our house looking for us. She said they knocked on our doors, looked in the windows, and eventually headed off in the direction of our church. I was thankful to have a caring neighbor who tried to warn us. I put our son down for his nap and called a member of our church to come by to be with us and to pray with us for God's guidance and protection. When she arrived, we prayed and then called the number the officials had left on our door. The policemen came immediately. They demanded to see the baby and wanted him stripped of all his clothing. Our poor son didn't know what was happening to him, but he didn't cry. He just looked up at us as if to say, "help me, mommy and daddy" but we couldn't do anything.
The State workers and policemen kept referring to our son as a victim, but I'm so proud of my husband for not getting angry even though he was in such emotional pain. He remained strong for us. The police searched our refrigerator and our son's bedroom without a court order. They decided to take our son from us that very day, citing that he was small for his size and that this must be investigated. We had doctor's reports stating that when we got him he was small for his size. They didn't care. They took him away.
In court, the adoption agency did not stand behind us, even though they had made several positive reports when they visited our home. We were ordered to take nutrition classes. We did, and got a grade of A. We refused to play the victim role for them. We had done nothing wrong and refused to let them label us as abusive parents. Next, we were sent a letter stating that if we agreed to the charges and signed the form they would set a court date and our son would be returned to us. We couldn't believe they would offer us such a thing. But we played their game because we wanted our son back. After we did this, the court refused to give us our son back. The agency put into their report to the court that they feared our "vegetarian beliefs would harm" our son. Our son was lost to us.
Our second attempt at being parents had failed. But we refused to give up. We contacted every agency we could think of. We sought help from every direction. We have to thank Lige Weill of the Vegetarian Awareness Network for standing with us and many other families that had gone through similar situations. We must also thank Dr. Charles Attwood who wrote our story and Dr. Colin Campbell who wrote a letter to the court for us. Dick Gregory and Dr. Michael Klaper asked Dr. neal Barnard to get involved, and for that we are thankful as well.
We felt we needed to take our plight to the public. We must do the educating so that this does not happen to another vegetarian family. The danger is real, it's out there. Our son was given to a non-vegetarian family where we are sure he is being fed the standard American diet.
We have not given up our hope of adopting children. We are now vegan, and we know there is a vegetarian friendly country out there and that someone will allow us to adopt and raise our children in a loving, healthy environment.
God Bless You and Thank You
Shirley and James Dumas
| |
Sponsors:
|
