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Marriage and Family
My Non-Veg Husband
by Seana Parker-Dalton
When my husband Jack and I met, I had been a vegetarian for many years, but had only recently made the full transition to veganism. I knew that I had made the right decision, but I was still apprehensive about revealing that aspect of myself to this new person in my life (having just returned from deployment in Kuwait, Jack didn't exactly fit the progressive/activist mold of most of my friends).
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As it turned out, I was the narrow-minded one. He was surprised, but not at all judgemental, and told me that his commanding officer in his reserve unit was a vegetarian. Apparently, since the government has a vested interest in soldiers' being physically fit, they actually provide vegetarian options. Who knew?
As Jack and I started spending more time together, my standard newbie vegan rotation of Chinese takeout/spaghetti/beans and rice was transformed by Jack's skilled and innovative cooking. I was eating soy sausage muffins, strange Thai-inspired noodle dishes, stuffed peppers, and lots of veganized standards that I never bothered to cook myself.
Now, almost two years later, we're married and expecting our first child. Jack knew how important it was to me that our wedding reflect my values and so, whenever I would start to waver under pressure from our non-veg friends and family regarding wedding arrangements, he gave me the strong encouragement I needed to stick to my guns. In fact, Jack can be much more outspoken than I am. When his mom offered to buy me a pair of pearl earrings, he quickly pointed out that they were not vegan. I, of course, would have found a way to politely decline.
When we learned I was pregnant, Jack announced that he was going to become a complete vegetarian (He's vegan at home, but not necessarily at restaurants, or at other peoples' houses). He wanted to do this to give our child a consistent message. This switch hasn't actually happened yet, but I'm not going to nag him about it.
Jack is totally supportive of my current job as an animal control officer. It's a physically and emotionally taxing job, absurdly low-paying (especially for someone paying off college loans) and one where you inevitably take your "work" home with you from time to time. He didn't bat an eye when I told him that a blind, balding toy poodle would be coming to stay with us for an indefinite period of time. Even when I know he'd rather be out at the movies, or hanging out with friends, he knows that my fundraisers, board meetings, and demonstrations are not optional for me. He insisted I take his car instead of my older, less reliable one, when I needed to drive a hen from the shelter where I work to a safe adoptive home three hours away. He mentioned the distinctive odor (which lingered for several days) but never complained.
Some people have said they could never be in a relationship with an omnivore, and while I would love it if my husband was a full-time vegan, I am fine with whatever choices Jack makes right now. I know that our child will thrive with his love and kindness, and all his or her friends, vegan or not, will want to eat at our house every night!
Seana Parker-Dalton lives in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband Jack, and their three dogs. She is expecting her first baby in August 2005.
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